In the Battle Between the Adult and the Two Year Old, Timing is Everything

It depends on the time of day as to whether or not I will win the battle against my two year old.

Normally, in the evening, I am calm, and she can cry, and scream, and refuse to eat, sleep or listen to me. I will calmly give her the options she has, while she gears up for the high pitch screams she emits out of frustration. I win the battles in the evening. She will try to get her own way, but she won't. I rarely get angry with her at night. She can cry all she wants because mommy didn't give her cookies when she refused to eat supper, but she won't get the cookies. I am in a state of zen as she wails in the background.

Mornings are another beast altogether! Especially when I want to get out of the house to playgroup, or work. I will usually end up as frustrated as her most mornings, which means I lose. If we are heading to a playgroup, we will never get out of the house before 9:30am, regardless of what time we woke up. (In fact, the later we get up, the more likely we are to leave on time. It's so weird.)

Mornings are all about negotiations. I have to find something that will interest her, convince her that leaving the house is the better option. The prospect of seeing her friends usually works, but not always. Sometimes I offer her chocolate. Big no no because she are never supposed to reward with food. Oh well.

In the mornings, she will always want to do something entirely different from what I want to do. If she wakes up super early, she won't want to sleep just a few minutes longer for mommy's sake. If I am ready to get up and eat breakfast, she will decide she wants to play. If it is time for a bath, she will want to eat. When it is time to get out of the bath, she wants to play some more. After her bath, she will want to go back to sleep (pretend sleep).

Dressing to go ends up taking 30 minutes. She won't pick her clothes, but doesn't want to wear what mommy picked out. Of course, when we are at playgroup, she doesn't want to leave.

Every time there is a change in activity, there is a fight. For some reason, during the day, my patience is very short. It probably has to do with having a time limit, or deadline. In the evening, I usually don't have anywhere to be or anything pressing to do. I can take my time, and let my daughter cry out her frustrations. She will calm down eventually.

I need to somehow remember how I feel at these times, and use it in the mornings. I try, but it usually fails. I have tried looking at these mornings from my daughter's perspective as well. She is not allowed to continue doing what she wants to do. We always do what mommy wants to do. I could leave her to play with her toys in the mornings, but I really want to go to playgroup, not just for her sake, but for my sanity.

Like I said, timing is everything when it comes to winning battles against my two year old.

Travelling with Baby

Having children changes everything. You have to make sure you have brought gear for your baby as well as yourself, when you head out the door. It is no longer the two of you, but the three (or four, five...)of you. However, if your child is under the age of two, you can fly with your baby for free, within Canada. So, take advantage of your time off, and go on a vacation with your little one.

For the first two years of her life, my daughter took six trips. Before she turned one, she flew with me to Winnipeg and Edmonton. In the summer, my husband and I took her to France. We also did a quick trip to Penticton. After she turned one, we took her to Vancouver, and I took her again to Winnipeg. Travelling with an infant who has not yet started walking is much easier than travelling with a toddler. If you can swing it, fly with your baby before she gets too mobile.

We flew mostly with Air Canada because I had Aeroplan points to use. Living in a more isolated community, points flights are great because they are usually from your current location to your destination, inclusive of connections. If we had to pay for our flights, we would fly from Toronto, forgoing the expensive Sudbury-Toronto leg. With a points flight, you can fly from Sudbury to Winnipeg with the connection in Toronto for the same number of points as flying from Toronto directly.

Another benefit of using points is being able to have an extra stopover. When we went to Edmonton, we had a stopover (of a week) in Winnipeg for the same number of points as just flying to Edmonton round trip. If you have the time, the friends and the energy, try to combine your trips to economize on points.

Air Canada allows you to bring an extra item if you travel with your infant on your lap. When travelling alone with my daughter, I was able to bring her stroller (which was too big to carry on), her car seat and one suitcase with both our clothes. When my husband travelled with us, we were able to bring along her co sleeper (mini playpen) too (because each adult gets two pieces). If you have a smaller umbrella stroller, you can bring it to the gate, and it doesn't count towards your carry on total.

If you are going on a longer flight, such as overseas, you might want to try to get the bulkhead seats. We were able to get bulkhead seats for our trip to France, and our daughter slept in the bassinet during the flight. This also made eating meals on the plane a lot easier because neither of us had to hold my daughter while the other was eating.

International flights are not free for infants, but cost 10% of what you paid for an adult fare. So, if you can get your flight on sale, it will cost less for your child's ticket. Keep in mind, if your child has his second birthday while you are away on an international vacation, you will have to buy a seat for the return flight.

Depending on where you are travelling, you might want to invest in a portable playpen for baby to sleep in at your destination. Some hotels do provide playpens, and if you are visiting family or friends with children the same age as yours, you might not have to worry about bringing this extra piece of luggage. You can also improvise. We had a hotel room with a trundle bed, and we put it between our bed and the wall, so our daughter wouldn't fall on the floor.

Get a good baby carrier. A Baby Bjorn (or any pliable carrier) is a great thing to bring along. It doesn't take up much luggage space, and it allows you to carry your child and keeps your hands free.

Depending where you go, a stroller may or may not be convenient. In Paris, we had to fold up the stroller and carry it down the escalators to access the subway. On the other hand, we probably used every elevator in the Louvre (some of them just to get up five steps!). Also, we were often given priority in lineups because we had the stroller (or maybe just the baby). Certain cities don't have roads conducive to strollers (cobblestone, gravel), but a stroller might give you a break over carrying your baby everywhere.

Travelling with children is not impossible, it just takes some adjustment. My parents travelled with me as an infant, and then with me and my brother. We often took trips to visit their families out of country. It is all about how flexible you are willing to be. Just go with the flow, and make sure you bring as many of your convenient baby gear as you can :).

Check out the Air Canada website for more information. Remember, airline regualtions are constantly changing, so make sure you are up to date.
http://www.aircanada.com/en/travelinfo/before/youngtravellers/infant-child.html

One extra note, if you are leaving Paris from Charle de Gaulle Airport, make sure you are on the right side. There is a check in for flights going to other European countries, and another side for more international flight (i.e. flights back to Canada). We got stuck in a very long line and missed our flight home (despite arriving at the airport with time to spare). We had to spend another day in Paris. This could have been okay if we weren't so fed up about missing the flight. We were near the airport, and should have checked out the little town (Roissy) nearby instead of paying a ridulous amount for our food at the hotel.

I'll die with the Black Fly pickin' my bones...

It's that time of year again. The black flies are increasing in numbers, and being outdoors is no longer pleasant. Unlike mosquitoes, black flies feed during the day, and they feed on blood. (Female mosquitoes feed on blood after mating, for increased energy, but normally they feed on nectar.)

Black flies are sneaky too. Usually, you can't hear them like mosquitoes. They crawl on you, and you don't realize you've been bitten until you see the bloody, little bite left behind. My kids came home yesterday with a multitude of bites on their heads, and I only saw a couple of the flies! You need to make sure you are not only covered during black fly season, but that you have your clothing tucked in. Black flies will find any opening in your clothing to your skin.

Of course, once you realize the air is teeming with black flies, you start to get the "phantom itch" going on. You all know it. You start imagining black flies, and mosquitoes are biting you, even though they aren't. You swat your arm because you are positive something just bit you, but nothing is there. Lots of fun!

So, short of avoiding the outdoors during black fly season, what do we do?

Here are some recommendations:

Try to avoid being outside during the times of day when black fly attacks are most severe - morning, late afternoon and early evening. Going out on windy days will lessen the likelihood of being bit, but the flies will still land on you.

Black flies are less attracted to light-coloured clothing.

As mentioned, since black flies crawl and try to reach the warmer regions of your body, tuck your pant legs into socks or boots and wear snug, long-sleeved shirts.

If you are going to be in an area where black fly populations are thicker, bring a mosquito net to wear over your head. Black flies like heavily wooded areas and areas near running water, or pretty much anywhere up North.

Wearing an insect repellent containing DEET is effective; natural products such as citronella also work but may need to be re-applied more frequently. Keep in mind that "natural" products don't mean safe for children. They should not ingest either DEET products or natural products containing essential oils.

If you have a concern about applying DEET-based repellent to your children, a study published at www.cmaj.ca on July 15, 2003 found that DEET-based insect repellents are relatively safe when used as recommended. The researchers found the suggestion that young children are more prone than adults to the neurotoxic effects of DEET is not supported by critical evaluation of existing evidence. They also found even though Non-DEET-based insect repellents are available, based on a one-time application comparison, a product containing 10% DEET will provide a longer period of protection (3 hours) than any other repellent currently available in Canada.

(Data from the paper: DEET-based insect repellents: safety implications for children and pregnant and lactating women. By Gideon Koren, Doreen Matsui and Benoit Bailey. http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/full/169/3/209 )

Put the DEET repellent on hats or clothing, if you do not want to put it directly on your skin or your child's skin. If you have a very young child (less than one year old), put them in a playpen or a stroller with a mosquito net over top. Once your child is fairly mobile, it will be hard to keep her in an enclosed area, so just limit her exposure outside during times of peak black fly activity.

Yummy Mummy lists! Blech. Happy Mother's Day to Us Regular Folk!

Okay, so I am feeling a little bit of self pity this weekend. My husband has left me alone with my two children for the first time since my son was born. On the weekend of Mother's Day, no doubt. It is not his fault. He had commitments. I could have gone with him to Ottawa and visited my cousin, or driven down to south to visit my parents, but I decided to stay at home. There were things I wanted to do here. Visit le Salon du Livres, and there was also a Carmen Campagne concert I wanted my daughter to see.

I have such an appreciation of single moms right now. I don't have much of a support system nearby. I have some friends, but they are often busy, and you can only spend so much time at your friends' home. My parents and my inlaws don't live close enough for me to just drop the kids off. (If your parents live nearby, and watch your kids, you are so lucky!)

Imagine if you never had anyone to relieve you. I spend my whole day with my children (whom I love dearly), but I look forward to the time when my husband comes home from work to alleviate some of the stress. He gives me some breathing room at the end of the day.

This afternoon, I had to deal with yet another tantrum of my 2 and a half year old daughter. She is becoming her own woman. Oh joy! She had a complete meltdown at Salon du Livres. The whole arena, undoubtedly, could hear her screams. Mean mommy wouldn't let her have the pretty, shiny grab bag (strategically?) placed at toddler level. (Evil vendors!) Trying to explain to her that mommy had already bought her stickers didn't work. I just left her on the floor (thankfully, carpeted) as I paid, and saleswomen came up to try to make her happy. They too were unsuccessfully.

We left, and went home immediately after this incident. How do moms go out with more than two children? There are times when I just want to put my kids in a padded room (so they are safe), and curl under the covers with earplugs until they cry out their frustrations. The tag team crying has to be the worst. Or, when one makes the other cry and they go at it together.

In October, I had a two month old crying in his car seat, and my 2 year old on the sidewalk, outside a store, on the ground, wailing, refusing to move. A store clerk took my son's car seat from me, and walked to my van, so I could pick up my daughter, and get them home. She recounted her experience of being alone on a city bus with her three children. We've all been there. (By the way, I was subsequently locked out of my parents' home by my 2 year old shortly after I brought them home from this incident. Never leave your house without keys. 2 year olds can work deadbolt locks!)

Except, perhaps, those celebrity moms. This rant started because I was drowning my stress in ice cream and gossip, checking out the MSN's top 10 yummy mummys. Gorgeous, skinny, perfect women who probably have an entourage for their children, let alone themselves.

Seriously, how in awe of Angelina Joli do we have to be? She has six kids! Yes, and probably six nannies too! Certainly, no financial issues. Her house probably does have a padded room where she can put the kids, and her home is probably big enough she doesn't need earplugs, but instead heads to the other wing.

We should be celebrating the regular moms out there. The ones who go at it alone because their husbands are off in another province or country working right now. With the strike in its 10th month, a lot of moms are getting used to having dad at home with them. However, there are also a lot of fathers who had to take work outside of Ontario to be able to support their families. We all work hard to raise our children. I am sure Angelina love her kids as much as the rest of us, but I am just having pity party right now. Remember, give your mom a hug. Being a parent is the hardest job you'll ever love. Next month we get to honour our dads.

Oh, and to clarify things for the fathers, Mother's day is when dads take the children and let mom have a nice relaxing day on her own. Maybe she'll get to sleep in or have a spa day. Father's day is when dads take the children and spend time with them, bonding, playing outside, getting to know them. Uh, yes, you take the kids on BOTH days : ). We love you!!

Mother's Day Contest

Go to Nickel City Parents (http://www.nickelcityparents.ca/) to find out the details of the Mother's Day Contest. I am also planning a give away when the number of fans on my Facebook page gets to 100.

McNeil Product Recall April 30, 2010

McNeil has recalled certain medications which includes Infant Tylenol products and Infant Motrin products. You can go to the Motrin.ca site, the Tylenol.ca site or check out the following link for details and a list of the Canadian products recalled. You can get a coupon or a refund by filling out a form online.
http://www.motrin.ca/eng/pdf/Press_Release.pdf

Feeding the picky child

Don't you look on in envy when you see someone else's child eating...anything your child will not touch? Seriously, your child might be the most open-minded kid on the block when it comes to food, but maybe she just refuses to eat broccoli, or carrots, or...you get the picture. We all stress out about what to feed our children, and we all have battles at the table trying to get them to eat wholesome food. Some of us might have issues just getting our kids to eat!


My first child gave me (still gives me) no end of grief with regards to eating (and feeding). Her weight has always been low. Every other visit to the doctor would result in me having to find a way to get more food into her. She liked to hang around the 3rd percentile. I would constantly be asked if she was a premature baby. Nope, just small. Someone has to make up the bottom part of the curve!


When I finally decided to not be stubborn about exclusively breastfeeding, and tried to supplement with formula, she decided she no longer wanted eat from a bottle! Even starting her on solids didn't do much to improve her weight gain. As a two year old, she still doesn't eat very much. Mostly she'll eat a good breakfast, then I will be lucky if she eats lunch, and supper is usually out of the question.


I was given much advice on how to increase the caloric intake of my child. Supplementing my breastfeeding with formula was just the beginning. Despite the fact that breast milk is best, I apparently didn't make milk with much fat in it (although my son gained weight well from my breast milk). After we started feeding her solids, I was told to mix cream into her cereal, or add oil to her fruits and veggies.


Having a low weight as an infant is a concern for brain development, so you want to make sure your child is thriving. Being diagnosed with a child who "fails to thrive" is a big deal. Outside authorities can become involved. My daughter has been meeting her milestones despite having a low weight, which leads me to be a lot less concerned about her weight.


A few months ago, I started adding whipping cream to her 3.25% milk (yes, she is still drinking the high fat milk at almost three years old). The addition of the cream to her milk did not increase her weight. I have since come to the conclusion she has a super high metabolism, and she will not starve herself. If she is hungry, she will let me know. She eats broccoli, and asparagus, and hummus. She won't eat much meat at home, but eats most of her food at daycare. Go figure!


I read recently toddlers consume more than 50% of their calories before lunch. Dinner is often a time of socializing, not eating. So, don't stress if your child decides to just pick at his dinner plate. Make sure you have wholesome choices for your child to eat. If they refuse to eat the dinner you have make, don't become a "short order cook". This is how kids end up eating chicken nuggets and fries all the time. Just because a child won't eat the wholesome food one time doesn't mean they will never eat it.


My biggest annoyance of late is how Wonder Bread assumes children will not eat brown bread. My daughter eats all kinds of bread. We rarely have white bread in the house. She will eat the multi-grain bread, the seedy bread, the rye bread. We often have preconceived ideas of what our children will like.

OTHER RECOMMENDATIONS:

Provide small, frequent meals at regular times. Space meals and snacks at least 2 hours apart. Your child should have 3 meals and 2 to 3 snacks throughout the day. Note, this doesn't mean they will eat at each of these meals or snacks, but give them the opportunity to do so.

Keep the length of meal times consistent. Offer the food again at the next planned meal or snack. Meals shouldn't be much longer that 30 to 45 minutes, 15 to 20 minutes for snacks.

Don't force your child to eat. Parents are responsible for providing nutritious foods. Your child will control the amount he or she wants to eat.

Avoid distractions at meal times. Turn off the TV, and eat at a dinner table. Eat as a family. Model good behaviour by eating and socializing with your children at meal times.

Don't cater to your child. Pair familiar favourites with new foods. Remember, it can take 10 to 20 times of offering a food before your child will "like" the food.

Kids change their likes and dislikes often. A food that was a favourite for the past week, might not be liked today. They could decide to eat only white food for a period of time. But, this too shall pass. Children will eventually tire of their favourite food, and move onto something else.

A favourite food isn't a bad thing. Just make sure it belongs to one of the food groups, and is nutritious and wholesome.

Want to share any of your feeding and eating woes? Feel free. Be sure to include any advice you might find useful.