In the Battle Between the Adult and the Two Year Old, Timing is Everything

It depends on the time of day as to whether or not I will win the battle against my two year old.

Normally, in the evening, I am calm, and she can cry, and scream, and refuse to eat, sleep or listen to me. I will calmly give her the options she has, while she gears up for the high pitch screams she emits out of frustration. I win the battles in the evening. She will try to get her own way, but she won't. I rarely get angry with her at night. She can cry all she wants because mommy didn't give her cookies when she refused to eat supper, but she won't get the cookies. I am in a state of zen as she wails in the background.

Mornings are another beast altogether! Especially when I want to get out of the house to playgroup, or work. I will usually end up as frustrated as her most mornings, which means I lose. If we are heading to a playgroup, we will never get out of the house before 9:30am, regardless of what time we woke up. (In fact, the later we get up, the more likely we are to leave on time. It's so weird.)

Mornings are all about negotiations. I have to find something that will interest her, convince her that leaving the house is the better option. The prospect of seeing her friends usually works, but not always. Sometimes I offer her chocolate. Big no no because she are never supposed to reward with food. Oh well.

In the mornings, she will always want to do something entirely different from what I want to do. If she wakes up super early, she won't want to sleep just a few minutes longer for mommy's sake. If I am ready to get up and eat breakfast, she will decide she wants to play. If it is time for a bath, she will want to eat. When it is time to get out of the bath, she wants to play some more. After her bath, she will want to go back to sleep (pretend sleep).

Dressing to go ends up taking 30 minutes. She won't pick her clothes, but doesn't want to wear what mommy picked out. Of course, when we are at playgroup, she doesn't want to leave.

Every time there is a change in activity, there is a fight. For some reason, during the day, my patience is very short. It probably has to do with having a time limit, or deadline. In the evening, I usually don't have anywhere to be or anything pressing to do. I can take my time, and let my daughter cry out her frustrations. She will calm down eventually.

I need to somehow remember how I feel at these times, and use it in the mornings. I try, but it usually fails. I have tried looking at these mornings from my daughter's perspective as well. She is not allowed to continue doing what she wants to do. We always do what mommy wants to do. I could leave her to play with her toys in the mornings, but I really want to go to playgroup, not just for her sake, but for my sanity.

Like I said, timing is everything when it comes to winning battles against my two year old.