I pride myself on my memory. I like to think I have a fairly good memory. Memory is a funny thing, though. Very often you will be convinced something happened a certain way, but, upon review, you realize the sequence may be incorrect, or something entirely different occurred. Of course, it helps if you were able to document it shortly after the incident, say in a journal, blog or tweet, or capture the moment on video. Nowdays, there are plenty of devices to help keep the memories alive, for better or for worse.
Why am I talking about memory? One of the more interesting parts of our of recent camping trip was running into someone from my hometown. You might not find this interesting, but I grew up in a small town in Manitoba, and Santa's Village (Bracebridge, Ontario) was the last place I was expecting to see someone from Pinawa.
My family, and I were standing around the Rec Centre at the campground, watching kids meet with "Santa", and someone called out my name. I turned, and looked, expecting to see a person from Sudbury. Instead, I was looking at a man whose face I could not place at all. Mentally, I was flipping through my memory book of faces, and I was coming up with nothing. It must have shown because almost immediately he introduced himself. Once he said his name, I recognized him, but it is amazing how the circumstances of our meeting did not allow me to see him as familiar, initially.
I had not seen him in about ten years. He was greyer, and bigger, and, as I said, not someone I was expecting to see at Santa's Village. Granted, he and his family live in Brampton, so it is only a two and a half hour drive for them. I am sure to run into other people from Pinawa in Ontario, as many of them have moved out here. My parents still visit often with his parents who live in the Niagara Region. In fact, I have seen his parents more recently, and frequently than I have seen him.
He introduced me to his wife, and she said we met at their wedding 12 years ago. Again, I had another memory break down. I did not remember being at their wedding. I suggested maybe we met at her inlaws house. It wasn't until I was speaking with my husband about how much the man had changed when my husband reminded me of their wedding. As soon as my husband said he was at the wedding too, all the images of the day came back to me.
I could not believe my husband was reminding me of something. Normally, his memory is not the best. Although, it tends to be more his short term memory that is an issue. He also remembered all these little details, like how the wife recorded a song of her singing. The best man was a videographer, and he did a montage for the wedding. I should have remembered. I have only been to five weddings. It was also the first wedding my husband and I went to. We had recently started dating.
When we met up with the family again, I apologized and said his wife was correct about us being at their wedding. He laughed, and said he didn't remember the day at all. He said it was a good thing they got married in 2000, because he can remember how long they were married for, but he has no recollection of the event himself. Too much alcohol, I assume. It is too bad to forgot such a monumental occasion in your life. I have extremely fond memories of my wedding day. It was a lot of fun.
Other days I don't want to forget, but are fading slightly, are the days when my children were born. Unfortunately, we do not have video of their births, but we do have plenty of pictures. I find now, my memories are often composed of images instead of a "live action" movie like memory. Sometimes, I wonder if I really remember the event, or if I just remember the pictures I took of the event.
Then, there are things you want to forget, but they keep cropping up in your mind. Those embarassing moments often stay with us forever. The funny thing is, we probably have a much more vivid impression of the incident (blown way out of proportion) than anyone else involved because we were the centre of the embarassment. We focus on what happened to us at that particular moment in time. The other people involved were probably just as focused on themselves, and they may have a completely different recollection of what happened.
Memory depends a lot of perception. You might think everyone remembers the time you walked into the sign post, but odds are, unless you remind them of it, they probably won't ever think about it. The reverse can be true as well. Something you might have thought was trivial could be swirling around in the memory of someone you know, and before long, they are angry with you about your behaviour, and you do not even know what you did.
Your memory is likely not what really happened, and unless we have constant video and audio recordings of everything we do, and say, there will always be misinterpretations, or exaggerations of what actually occured. The best we can hope for is the majority of people we interact with live in the moment, and don't dwell on the past. We want to, and shouldm remember the good. Remembering our "mistakes" is helpful, to not repeat hurtful, or silly actions, but we should not let them ruin our lives. Sit back, and think about your first, best kiss, when your baby first smiled at you, or the amazing meal you cooked last night. Those memories are worth holding on to.
Posted with Blogsy
No comments:
Post a Comment