So Little Patience

I try to be patient with my children. I try to give them plenty of warning and time to get ready in order not to be short with them. But, it routinely backfires. I try to talk to them calmly, but I often end up repeating myself so many times it just becomes noise. I have taken a multitude of parenting classes. I have tried many different discipline techniques. I find myself at my wits' end almost every day.

I love my children, and would not trade them for anything in the world...most of the time, but they are giving me a run for the money. My son hits my husband and me when he is frustrated. You would think, it is no big deal to be hit by a three year old, but he is strong, and somehow, he find the sweet spot when he takes a swing. I have almost dropped him. My husband has dropped him. He screams and kicks. He will never do what we want. He won't do the opposite either if we try it that way. With both of my children, the threes have been the worst.

I figure, they know how to express themselves, so it is not a matter of not being able to communicate their wants. They just do not want to do what we want them to do. Tantrums are their power. This is the only way they have to fight back. At three, they have not quite figured out if they listen and are well behaved, they will be rewarded. This is probably why my reward chart is not working. Actually, my almost six year old daughter has not really figured this out either.

My son refuses to sleep in his room. He also refuses to go to bed when he should. (He refuses to eat supper, get dressed, brush his teeth...you get the picture). I keep telling him if he sleeps in his own bed the whole night he will earn stars towards a reward, but he weighs the options, and decides that he would rather forgo a future toy for the immediate "pleasure" of sleeping anywhere other than in his bed. I have actually taken away one of the prizes he earned for a brief period of sleeping in his bed because he has stopped sleeping in his bed.

There is no reasoning with him either. Often, our last resort is to let him cry it out in his room until he falls asleep. Somehow, he has not figured out the child proof door knob. I try very, very hard not to get into a shouting match with him. He is a screamer and a yeller. I try to remain calm and quiet as much as possible, but he often outlasts me. I swear, we could use my children to get people to divulge their secrets. Torture by preschooler.

I know, this too shall pass. Every stage has its pleasures and its displeasures. It is tough being a parent. If I wanted an easy life, I would not have chosen to have children. The challenges usually lead to rewards, and there are moments when my children are laughing, smiling and singing that I truly do treasure. I just have to keep that in mind during the times when my kids are screaming and banging against their doors.

 

 

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