Reminiscing with Good Friends

My daughter and I are rounding up a week long visit with some very dear friends of mine. The three of us met while teaching high school in Monterrey, Mexico, 12 years ago. It was an amazing experience and I count these two women as some of, if not the, best friends that I have. They are at the top of my contact list on Facebook, and we have managed to see each other almost every two years since we have been back in Canada. Considering I live in Sudbury and they live in Edmonton, I count this as impressive.

I was saying to one of the friends a sign of a good friendship is when you can stop talking about what you did in the past and enjoy each other's company in the present. Of course, after that, we got out the photo albums of our Mexican adventures and proceeded to reminisce, again. But, as the other friend said, no one else was there, and there is no one else can we talk to who will understand what we experienced.

Friendships are odd things. I have many people in my life I would consider good friends, but we do not see each other very often because we live so far apart. I grew up in Manitoba, therefore many of my high school friends are still there. We see each other about once a year. We tend to not relive the "good ole times" because they were so long ago, but whatever drew us together when we were younger is still there. We are able to spend time together, talk about our lives and let our kids play.

I see my university friends even more seldom. I went to UBC, and since I graduated, I have only been back three times. These friends rarely come out East to visit. We stay in touch mainly through Facebook. However, it is as though no time has passed when we do finally see each other. Most of these people know who I am, and love me for the good and the bad. I count myself fortunate to have travelled so much, and to have maintained these connections for such a long time.

I do not have many people near my home I would consider good friends. Last year a relationship, I had considered a family type relationship, fell apart. The women decided, over what seems like an overnight b$&&h session, that they no longer wanted me in their lives. It hurt me deeply because it was never clear exactly what it was that I had done. I still do not know what I did, and I was never given the opportunity to make up for my "failings".

It was made even more awkward because they live in our community, they were important at our wedding, and our children are still close. I do not like to talk about it a lot because I do not know how much they said to others. I also do not know how many of my circle of acquaintances know them. It made dealing with the loss difficult because I had no one to talk to about it.


My friends here in Edmonton were very supportive throughout the ordeal. In fact, they are a testament to a strong friendship because we have all put our feet in our mouths with regards to each other, but we still love each other. We are like sisters, and despite the time and distance we are able to pick up where we left off, as though the years have not passed.

We were fortunate to have two visits this year because the fourth member of our Mexican quartet got married in Toronto in May. Unfortunately, he has not been as easy to stay in contact with, being a doctor now and basically eschewing Facebook. Our reunion with him was not quite the same since he was busy with his wedding (the nerve!), but we have had some good visits after Mexico when I was pregnant with my kids. We can still have a super reunion one of these years, and maybe focus on our present selves instead of our crazy, young, Mexican selves. Not that those younger versions of us were bad, but I think we have grown a lot since then, and we still like our older selves.

We are all mothers now, and our girls play together (our sons too). We are all teachers and we commiserate with each other and cheer each other on in our careers. After 12 years, we are still the best of friends, and I am so glad for the opportunity to see them as often as I do. As my visit comes to an end, I look forward to the next time. We will stay in touch through Facebook and Skype, but nothing beats being in the same room as my chiquitas!

La silla is a "pinche" mountain! ¡Jejeje!

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