So, dads don't have to change their babies outside the home?

I do like the convenience of having baby change tables in public washrooms. I especially like the family washrooms many malls, museums and airports have available. What I don't understand is why so few places have change tables in the men's washrooms.

I am sure there are many fathers who go out of the house with their infant and toddler children. I have had to change my children on the floor of a public washroom before. However, as a woman, I can usually find a Koala Care change table in one of the stalls in the women's washroom. Changing a squirmy child on a dirty public bathroom floor is not fun. Other patrons tend to frown when you use the sink countertop (if there is enough room). If you are lucky, there might be a bench, making it a little easier and sanitary.

In this day and age, we should be encouraging fathers to participate in all aspects of their children's lives. It isn't just an issue of getting dads out with their kids, though. When you are on a road trip as a family, it saves time if one parent can change a child while the other parent is feeding a child. If the mother is nursing a baby, it falls on the father to change the other child. Not convenient if there is no change table in the men's washroom.

I don't know how expensive these change tables are, but I think if a public place (mall, restaurant, movie theatre, etc.) is going to install one in the women's washroom, they should also put one in the men's washroom.

Once you have children, your perspective of the world completely changes. You realize all the things that are not child or family friendly. Public places should have a family consultant when they build. How can we make this building family-friendly? I know for any given family, the length of time your children are small, and require special attention lasts for only a few years. However, other people are having kids, and there will always be a need to cater to families with young children.

IKEA hacks

Check out the following website/blog to find some interesting ways to use IKEA furniture. There are a few designs for play kitchens, dollhouses, and ways to create different loft beds for children's rooms. If you have innovative ways of using IKEA furniture, you can contribute your own designs as well.

http://ikeahacker.blogspot.com/

How many Facebook "friends" does one person need?

Back in 2007, I kept getting emails from people in my contact list asking me to join Facebook. I ignored most of these messages, since many were coming from my former students in Mexico, with whom I rarely, if ever, communicated. Then, I started getting Friend Requests from people I would actually call my friends. I gave in and created a Facebook account.

When I set up my account, I did not let the program go through my list of email addresses, and send out Friend Requests to everyone on my contact list. Many people, for whom I have email addresses, would not be interested in using Facebook. I also have business contacts, and I think it would be tacky for them to receive an email from Facebook.

Initially, I loved the idea of Facebook. I thought it was very cool to reconnect with people I used to hang out with in university. It gave you that "where are they now" update. It made it extremely easy to keep up with my true friends, and just drop them a line to find out if they were available for coffee, or a playdate with our kids. People upload their pictures, and I can see how they are doing, even though they are so far away.

I have friends all over the world. Really, these are people I make an effort to see if I am in their part of the world. I have friends in France, Germany, Hawaii, Mexico, Uruguay and various provinces in Canada. Quite a few of these friends, I connect with through Facebook. I used to use Windows Messenger for chatting, but Facebook tends to be the norm now. I think more people like to connect through this medium. Most people no longer send emails, but messages through Facebook.

I assume the majority of my "friends" were either already active requests that popped up when I created an account. Or, I sought out my own friends: people with whom I was interested in keeping touch.

That being said, I would say 75% of my "friends" I never post anything on their pages, or try to contact at all. I keep thinking I should cull my list and whittle it down to the people I "talk" with on a regular basis. Kind of like cleaning out your closet of clothes you no longer wear. Get rid of the clutter.

Now, I seem to be getting Friend Requests from people in my home town. I am still friends with a handful of people I graduated with, 20 years ago. However, I have recently been getting requests from people I haven't spoken to in about 20 years. Some of them will send multiple requests.

A few months back, I would usually accept a request from someone, if I knew them, even though we hadn't been in touch for 20 to 25 years. Now, I usually think first, "Will I ever communicate with this person? Have we been communicating with each other recently?" If either answer is no, I will ignore the request.

I am not trying to be rude, or make a statement on how I feel about these people. I just don't see the point of having someone on my network if I will never see them socially. Many of these requests have been from people I wasn't friends with 20 years ago. Or, we were friends, when we were 12 years-old, but stopped being friends before I graduated.

I often wonder what the motivation is on the part of the person making the request. Are they truly interested in reconnecting with me, or are they just trying to build up their "friend cache"? Social networking is a great way to communicate with people, but if it doesn't actually lead to face to face contact, what is the point?

One of my friends' husband, who isn't even on Facebook, says he is trying to reduce the number of friends he has down to one or two. It was probably meant tongue in cheek, but he also had a point. His wife kept accepting requests from everyone because she felt guilty if she ignored them. I am here to say, ignore those requests. People are being lazy, trying to contact you through Facebook. If they truly want to be your friend, they will find another way to make it known.

Now, how do I remove people already on my list without making them think I don't "like" them anymore?

5 eco-friendly things I do most weeks

1. I just started using soap nuts to do my laundry.

These are fruits from a Soapberry tree (Sapindus mukorrosi. It is related to the lychee). You place 2 to 3 of the "nuts" into the cloth bag provided, and use them to wash your clothes, instead of laundry detergent. The nuts can be reused 2 to 5 times, depending on the water temperature, and can be placed in your compost bin when they are finished. Soap nuts contain sopanin which is a surfactant (it reduces water tension, and enables dirt to leave the clothes).

2. I use cloth bags, or reuse plastic bags when I shop.

Long before it was fashionable to have reusable shopping bags, I was annoying grocery store cashiers and baggers by bringing my own bags. In the mid 80s, Canadian Superstores were selling heavy duty reusable plastic bags, so I was exposed to this at an early age. In university, I would often pack groceries into my backpack or carryall. I no longer get funny looks from the cashiers, but I still have to tell many retail store employees that I don't need their bags.

3. I hang my laundry out to dry whenever possible.

I think many people still do this. I see clotheslines full of drying clothes on sunny days. When I was younger, my mom always put our laundry outside in the summer time. The clothes would smell great, and we weren't using the dryer during the hot, sticky days.

4. I am using cloth diapers with my children. This includes reusable swimming diapers too.

See my previous blog entry from April if you want to debate whether or not cloth diapers are more eco-friendly than disposables. I still think because I am reducing the amount of garbage going into landfills, that this is a good move.

5. We compost our perishable garbage.

Thanks to our city's composting program, our food garbage (peels, oils, leftover bits) goes into a compost bin, and it is picked up weekly by the recycling truck. If your city does not have a green bin program, you can compost your food waste on your own. However, I think you would not be able to compost the variety of things we are able to put in our city's compost.

Plus one more...

I try to walk or cycle to nearby stores or places (library, parks, Kindermusik) if possible, weather permitting. This doesn't always happen with two kids in tow, but I used to be an avid biker in Vancouver. I biked to school, and work. I didn't have a car when I lived in Vancouver. Sudbury is not as biker or pedestrian friendly, and the communities are too spread apart. Very often, you need your vehicle to get from point A to point B. I am hoping this will soon change.

Road trip, with baby and two year-old

We did our first extended road trip with our two children this month. We (I) decided it might be easier (less expensive) to drive to Winnipeg from Sudbury with our two children (10 1/2 month-old boy and almost 3 year-old girl) instead of flying there, and renting a van for the week. We probably did save money, even with hotel stays, restaurant meals, and gas costs. Would I do this again? I think so. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

THE GEAR:

• Suitcase filled with mom's and kids' clothes. Probably enough for a week, plus extra stuff for unpredictable weather.
• Duffel bag filled with dad's clothes.
• Cosleeper, converted to mini-playpen, for the baby to sleep in.
• Potty seat, and potty, in case my daughter decided she wanted to start potty training on the trip. One can only dream.
• Two booster seats, in case family and friends don't have high chairs.
• Stroller
• Backpack carrier, that wasn't used. I used my sling because it was just easier and less cumbersome.
• Box of food for kids, and snack for parents.
• Cooler bag for milk, or water
• Bag of toys to keep kids entertained.
• Bag of books, colouring books, stickers and etch-a-sketch things.
• Lots of DVDs.
• Portable DVD player.
• Children's music. "Adult" music.
• Portable computer with wireless modem.
• Cell phone (depending on your provider, it might not work everywhere).
• Two bags of disposable diapers (might seem like a no brainer, but we use cloth at home).
• Maps.
• Passports (just in case)
• Plus, a bunch of stuff to give to my brother, who is going to be a father to twin boys very soon.

We planned (and succeeded) in making the trip from Sudbury to Winnipeg in three days, with stops in Wawa and Thunder Bay. By far, the worst day of the whole trip was the first day of driving.

In my mind, I thought we would be going bonkers by spending extended periods of time in the van, and we would need to take a long break in between driving stints to re-energize. I envisioned us going to museums, or taking nature walks, or finding a beach to swim in for half an hour. I don't know what I was thinking. If the trip is the vacation, then by all means, take your time. If the road trip is just to get to your destination, drive, eat, drive, sleep.

THE TRIP:

Day 1: Sudbury to Wawa, 550km. Departure 10:10am. Lunch in Sault Ste. Marie, 2pm, at Joey Calzone's. We walked along the canal, and in Station Mall in The Soo, after lunch. Arrival in Wawa, 7:30pm. Spent the night at Northern Lights Motel. It is nice and clean, kind of quirky with notes everywhere. The kids liked the rubber ducks. We liked the extra large bathroom to put the cosleeper, and close the door.

Kids: They did okay. My daughter was entertained by her DVDs. My son was the limiting factor since a fussy baby needs to be soothed, and we had to stop before getting to Wawa. He had two goopy (possibly infected) eyes by the end of the first day.

Advice: Stop sooner, in Blind River or Ironbridge, especially if you leave after 10am. Don't spend too much time after lunch sight-seeing. Get back into your vehicle and drive to your destination. Have your chill time when you get to the motel.

Also, take your kids to the doctor before you leave on vacation, or bring along any prescriptions you might have used on them. When we went to France two years ago, my daughter had her sixth bout of conjunctivitis and it started as soon as we got on the plane. I had left her drops at home. We had to visit a doctor in France. Our insurance reimbursed us.

Day 2: Wawa to Thunder Bay, 470km. Departure 10:20am (after visiting one of Wawa's many geese). Lunch in Terrace Bay, 1:30pm, at Drifters. Arrival in Thunder Bay at 5:30pm. Spent the night at the Days Inn North (no pool, but newly built in 2007). Supper at Marsala Grille, yummy Indian food.

Advice: Maybe visit the geese on the way back. Northern Lights Motel is west of Wawa along the highway, and we backtracked to see the main goose just off the highway. Do stop and check out the play structure and Winnie the Pooh in White River, but make sure your kids know it is a short break. Unfortunately, the plaque was stolen last month. Make sure you take in the views while travelling from Wawa to Thunder Bay, the drive is spectacular.

Day 3: Thunder Bay to Winnipeg, 700km. Departure 8:45am (we failed to find a walk in clinic that opened before noon). Lunch in Dryden, 1pm, at McD's, after a one hour visit to the hospital for my son who developed a rash to go along with the goopy eyes. Keep in mind, we passed into the Central Time Zone shortly after leaving Thunder Bay. Arrival in Winnipeg at 5:30pm.

Kids: My daughter didn't watch her DVD player at all this day. She was occupied with reading, and colouring and napping. Despite having sad eyes and a rash, my son was in great spirits.

Advice: The Dryden hospital is not too busy, and the emergency room is in the newer section, only 10 years old. Note: if both eyes are goopy, it is probably not an eye infection and is more likely due to sinus problems. Travelling west is always nice because you gain time.

THE RETURN TRIP:

The return trip was quite similar, expect we tweaked a few things. We tried to leave earlier on our longer days, and we didn't drive as long before having lunch. The DVD player was very helpful, but not always necessary. As with the trip out, my daughter was entertained by her books on the last day of the return trip, and we didn't even take out the DVD player.

Be careful about stopping to play, especially if you have a temperamental two or three year-old on your hands. We often had issues leaving a place because my daughter was having fun sliding or playing with toys. Be sure to give your child lots of warning before you leave, or specify it will be a short playtime, or figure out how to "bribe" her back into the van without incident.

By far the worst part of the road trip was sleeping in the same room as the kids. We were able to put the baby in the bathroom, or "down" the hall. However, our daughter was sleeping in the bed next to us, and refused to go to sleep. We would have to sleep in her bed and get her to fall asleep. You could splurge and get a two room suite (more expensive) or try to find bed and breakfast places that would allow small children (unlikely).

If your infant is bottle fed, you might be able to soothe him without stopping the vehicle, as long as he can hold his own bottle. We would have to stop, so I could nurse my son, but the break was usually welcomed by all.

If anyone else has some practical road trip advice, feel free to leave a comment.

Where's the fence for our park?

When the city began construction on a new play structure in Hanmer, my first thought was, "Could they have picked a more dangerous location?" My sentiments were echoed by almost every parent I spoke with at my playgroup, or at Kindermusik, or around the neighbourhood.

The new park is located right in front of the Howard Armstrong Recreation Centre. Highly visible, but surrounded by roads. A major highway on one side (the speed limit is 60 km/hr, but we all know people are driving much faster), a major road on the other, and a parking lot right beside. All we could ask was, "What were they thinking?" Many parents wondered if anyone was consulted about this location. They wondered why they didn't just replace the aging play structure by the soccer fields, in a seemingly safer location.

Then, they started building a water/spray park next to the new play structure. Okay, so this location was selected because the city could access water more easily there. Still, we assumed once the park was finished, a fence would be put up to enclose this area, and make it a safe place to bring our children to play.

The snow fence was removed from around the play structure a few weeks ago. The city had a sign up saying "Park Closed", but that didn't stop people from bringing their children to check it out. Despite the construction going on outside of the recreation centre, people are still frequenting the park. It is good that families are using the play structure, but many parents are anxious of having to make sure their children don't run onto the road.

The spray park was officially functional on Monday, June 21. It was a hot day, and many families came to check it out. I didn't make it there until Thursday, June 25. It too was a busy evening. Kids kept pushing the water timer, and the water was not draining from the splash pad. It was like a shallow wading pool with about a foot of water collecting above the two small drains.

There were kids of all ages, and quite a few toddlers. Parents were being very diligent about watching their children, but at 6pm, the traffic on the roads was high. I was feeling very nervous because I know how quickly my daughter can run, and I wasn't sure if I could get to her if she headed for the road. Plus, I had my son, in a stroller. I would often have to leave him to follow her around the park.

I was not the only single parent. Many single mothers, and fathers, were there with more than one child. It certainly makes for an active time at the park, if you have to run after your children, and make sure they don't head for the streets (remember two major, high traffic roads and a parking lot). We finally a play structure that is safe for little ones, but the location is less than ideal.

If you have a pool in your yard, you have to have a fence around it. The way the water was (not) draining, the water park was essentially a wading pool. Shouldn't the city have a fence around it? It should be a no brainer. I shouldn't have to call, and ask if it is in the plans. It is not, by the way. I did call, and Kevan Moxam told me they are not planning on putting a fence around the park. They might put a fence near the parking lot, but the roads are "quite a distance" from the play structure, and the ditches should be a deterrent to the children running on the road.

The play structure is one of three, new, handicap accessible play structures going up in the city. The other two are located at James Jerome (Lily Creek, off Paris, behind the new soccer field. It is supposed to open in August), and Ridgecrest Park (off LaSalle). It is a wonderful play structure. I think the best part is the spongy ground underfoot. One parent described it like "walking on the moon".

Most parents like how children of all ages and capabilities can use this play structure. The reason we have it now is because the Accessibility Advisory Panel did a survey of the city, and found there were no fully accessible and inclusive play structures in the City of Greater Sudbury. The panel feels "having all children play together promotes the participation of children with disabilities and their families and facilities the development of attitudes of acceptance and respect and dignity amongst all individuals". The city council agreed and set aside about $220,000 for the play structures. As we can see from the signage as well, the federal government contributed money as part of their ActionPlan initiative.

Why this dangerous location? The people on the Accessibility Advisory Panel picked this location for a reason. There was already access for handicapped individuals because this plot of land is located right beside the handicap parking spaces in front of the Howard Armstrong Recreation Centre. Okay, so that is great, but the roads are still a concern. Wouldn't you want to protect the children playing in this area? If this play structure is meant to be used by everyone, shouldn't it be safe for everyone?

I was told to get a list of everyone who has concerns and to send Kevan Moxam an email voicing these concerns. Better yet, people who are concerned should call the city and ask to speak to him directly. Ask about the location, tell him you do not feel your child is in a safe location.

Here are other reasons I was given for this particular location:

• New parks are being placed in highly visible, public areas. (To see our tax dollars at work?)
• Wouldn't you feel safer having your child play in a public park, as opposed to a secluded park?
• To build it by the soccer fields would mean building water pipes to that location, the cost would be too high, the water park wouldn't have been built.
• This location was selected for its accessibility. The public doesn't realize there are many factors to consider when building new play structures.
• Benches and a sun shelter are also in the plans.
• The James Jerome park is located right on Paris Street, and it doesn't have a fence either. (But there is a soccer field in front of it, and a fence in front of the soccer field.)

Another concern is that the water from the spray park is not being recycled or at the very least re-purposed. The drain for the splash pad is going into the ditch and the water is being wasted. This spring we were dealing with extremely low water levels, and water conservation is a serious concern for us. We certainly take our water for granted in Canada, but we shouldn't. If the city is going to spend money building facilities that use water, they should be mandated to think of ways to reuse this water.

If recycling the water through the spray park is too expensive (because you would have to treat it before it comes back through the system), then figure out a way to reuse the water elsewhere. A water park in Morden, Manitoba was going to reuse the water for trees and flowers in the city that needed watering. If the cost of having a recycling program for the water was too much, maybe the city shouldn't have built the spray parks. Private citizens will probably have to experience a water ban, or some form of water conservation this summer. The city should be accountable too.

If you want a fence around your new parks, please call the city (311) and speak with Kevan Moxam, or email him at kevan.moxam@greatersudbury.on.ca with your concerns. Or, leave you name on the post, and we can start a sort of online petition.

(not) As Crafty As I Want To Be

I never really considered myself super crafty, but as time goes on, the things I have made on my own increase in number. As a kid, growing up, I had to take home ec. and learn how to sew, but I was never really good at it. The clothes I made in high school were seldom worn, and quite ugly. I was not adept at picking out fabric that would make a nice looking (insert article of clothing). I remember I made a blue (bright blue) and white striped sweatshirt. I wore it only a couple of times. This was before I was aware of World Cup soccer, and cheering for Argentina was cool. Hmmm, maybe I can use that as my excuse if people ever call me on it :).

I tried knitting too, but I used to have so much tension, I couldn't get the needles under the yarn, and I would have lots of holes. Flash forward to my years in Chapleau, and I needed to take up a "hobby". I knit a couple of blankets and a sweater for my best friend, and another for her baby. I made umpteen hats and scarves. Nice enough that they were bid on in the school bazaar. I have let knitting fall to the wayside, again, but now I am into sewing.

Currently, my issue with doing crafts, and sewing is that I rarely have time to myself to start a project, let alone finish one. Last year, I had to make myself a gypsy dance outfit. I was able to get out and work at my friend's place (plus I was pregnant, so only had one little munchkin to "distract" me). Now, if I want to do any sewing, I need to make my husband aware that I am not to be disturbed and I close the door. My two year old daughter likes to play with my sewing machine (and pins, and needles and scissors). It is not conducive to completing a sewing project.

If I do decide to start a craft project, I basically have to finish it as soon as possible, or it will never get finished. Case in point: I have been working on a quilt for my son for six or seven months now. I just never get enough time to do any work on it. I will buy fabric, and it will sit in my craft room for months (or over a year) before I decide to do something with it.

Amazingly, I managed to make a window treatment for my daughter's room in one day! I found a super easy pattern for a tie up curtain, and I managed to start and finish it (almost) in about 6 hours. It would help if I read the instructions thoroughly before I started sewing. The project might have taken even less time. I am quite impressed with how it turned out. I hope it will go with the new paint job we are planning for her room. Here's the link, in case you want to try these curtains. http://sew4home.com/projects/window-treatments/84-ribbon-tie-fold-up-shades

Now, I say I almost finished because the original window treatment was attached with hooks, and I needed to put grommets into my curtains. I bought the grommets, but I didn't put them in for another two weeks. Plus, because the hooks are so narrow, there was a risk they would tear through the fabric. I had to buy a quarter round to have it rest on the hooks, and support the weight of the fabric. The curtains are heavy duty cotton, plus black out material, quite heavy.

Other "crafty" projects I am proud of are my jewelry (which I got into because of Julie and Danielle at Mimi and Lulu's. How I miss their shop! It was so great when it was down the road from me). I was able to make quite a few necklaces and bracelets because I only had my daughter, and she was still napping in the afternoons. I was never into making jewelry, but after a couple of workshops, I was hooked.

I also made some felt stockings. The first one was for my daughter. I made this at Mimi and Lulu's too. Then, a couple of years later, I made stockings for the rest of the family. I was supposed to make them the year before, but morning sickness prevented me from finding my scissors, and the project was put on the back burner. Yes, you read that correctly. I couldn't find my scissors, and I blame my morning sickness from making me not think clearly. They ended up being in my knitting bag. I found them when I started another knitting project, a few months later.