"Mommy Wars" a discussion on Q with Erica Jong and Taffy Brodesser-Akner

I love the program Q. I love most CBC Radio One programs. Seriously, I could spend the whole day listening to these programs. Anyway, check out the interview Jian has with Erica Jong and Taffy Brodesser-Akner about different parenting techniques and how parenting debates get blown out of proportion so rapidly. Erica Jong is so well spoken, and definitely knows how to articulate her thoughts. The program was broadcast on Tuesday, November 23, 2010.

http://www.cbc.ca/q/

Another recipe. Sneaky muffins.

I won a book through the Everything Mom website. The book is called Sprout Right by Lianne Phillipson-Webb. It is a good book. Lots of wholesome recipes. Often the recipes use ingredients you (most people, but maybe not you) wouldn't normally find in your home, such as agave syrup, xanthan gum and rice flour. Many of her recipes are vegetarian or gluten free.

I decided to make some wholesome muffins for my family. These "Sneaky Little Muffins" were certainly better received in my home than the "sugar-free" cookies. However, the muffins themselves are also sugar-free. My daughter likes these, and of course, my son really likes them.

I modified the recipe from the book because I didn't have some of the ingredients in my home. Her is my modified recipe, taken from Sprout Right, pg 263, Sneaky Little Muffins. I made the batter in a food processor. It was quite a bit runnier than other muffin batter, but the muffins turned out to have a good texture.

Sneaky Little Muffins (adapted) Makes about 36 mini muffins
Ingredients:
2 overripe bananas
2 eggs
1/2 cup (125 mL) grated carrots
1/4 cup (50 mL) agave syrup
1/4 cup (50 mL) honey
1/2 cup (125 mL) milk
6 tbsp (90 mL) melted butter
1 medium zucchini, grated
1/3 cup (75 mL) ground flax seed
2 cups (500 mL) whole wheat pastry flour
2 tsp (10 mL) baking powder
1 tsp (5 mL) baking soda
1 tsp (5 mL) cinnamon
1/2 cup (125 mL) chocolate chips, optional


Beat the bananas in a mixer. Beat in eggs. Add carrots, syrup, honey, milk, butter, zucchini, and flax seed; mix well and let sit for 5 minutes.
In another bowl, stir together flour, baking powder, baking soda and cinnamon. Add the dry ingredients to wet ingredients and mix thoroughly.
Mix in chocolate chips, if using. You can also put the chocolate chips in only part of the batter, or try raisins, cranberries or other cut up dried fruit.
Spoon into 36 greased or paper-lined mini muffin cups and bake in 325F (160C) oven for about 25 minutes or until muffins are golden and lightly spring back when touched.

Birthday Cakes

Both of my kids were born in August. They are almost two years apart; only nine days separates their birthdays. Now, my oldest is only three, and the youngest one, so I haven't had a lot of time with the two of them. So far, we have had a birthday party for each of them, instead of combining. One of the reasons this has happened is each set of grandparents live in different locations. Before my son was born, we had two first birthdays for my daughter because we celebrated with my parents first, and then with my inlaws.

This year, we celebrated my son's birthday at home with my inlaws. It was his birthday, but with a minor component being devoted to my daughter. When her birthday came around nine days later, we were visiting my parents, and we celebrated her birthday, with a minor component devoted to my son.

So, I made a birthday cake for each occasion.

For my son's first birthday party, I made Lego cakes. This year, I opted for a cake mix, instead of making the cake from scratch. I made all of my daughter's previous birthday cakes and cupcakes from scratch, and they turned out well. I was just too busy this year. I used the President's Choice Organics chocolate cake mix. It turned out pretty good. The colours for the Lego blocks were not traditional because I only had a set of neon food colouring at home, hence the bright green, blue, "red" and orange.

I followed the idea and instructions from the Betty Crocker site, using marshmallows for the pegs. I even did a crumb coating before finishing off the icing. It turned out well.

For weeks prior to her birthday, my daughter wanted a Tinkerbell cake. I was going to modify a cake using an Esmerelda pan. Then, my daughter decided she wanted a Dora cake. I rented a pan from Bulk Barn for $2 (this is the daily rental). I made a cake, using the President's Choice Organics vanilla mix this time. I made the cake a few days in advance, and kept it in the fridge. The pan also came with decorating instructions, so I used these as a guideline for icing the cake.

The cake ended up looking really good. My husband had been doubtful, having seen the cake undecorated. I guess he didn't think I could pull it off. The main issue was that I was short of star tips for the icing bags, and I didn't have couplers on the bags, which would have enabled me to quickly switch between different icing colours. I had to refill new bags, and use the same star tip with a new colour. The icing process took a few hours. If I had couplers on my icing bags, it probably would have cut the time in half.

My daughter loved the cake. She often refers to it as Dora's birthday instead of hers because we did have a cake with Dora on it.

If icing cakes is something you enjoy doing, I encourage you to try it for your next special birthday. As I mentioned, Bulk Barn rents pans for $2 a day. They usually come with the instructions on how to decorated the cake. Many of the supplies you would need are also available at Bulk Barn. I think Michaels probably has stuff too. Michaels actually offers cake decorating classes at their stores, if you are interested.

Oh, last year, for my daughter's second birthday, I made butterfly cupcakes. You cut off the tops of the cupcakes, cut them in half and flip them, rounded parts inward, to make wings. I decorated the wings with icing and use gummy worms and jujubes for the bodies. You can use string licorice for the antennae. Alternately, you can make ladybug cupcakes by not flipping the cut tops. Google to find pictures of examples. Some are pretty cute.

Cooking with Kids at the Real Canadian Superstore

This Sunday, I tried one of the cooking classes at the Real Canadian Superstore on Lasalle. I went with my three-year old daughter to the Little Hands class. There were four other girls in the class with their moms. The age range for the Little Hands class is 3 to 5, and every child was within that age range. One girl was younger than my daughter, and the others were older.

The theme for this class was Fruit-filled Fun. We made Cheddar Apple Muffins, and fruit kebabs.

My favourite part of the class was the little chopper my daughter used to cut up her fruit. It is a small, hand-held chopper, consisting of a crinkle "blade" and a wooden handle. It looked like a paddle. It made cutting the apples for the muffin very easy for even the youngest of the girls. All the kids were able to use the chopper to cut the fruit for the kebab as well.

My major complaint was that there was a lot of sitting around, and waiting. Because it is for younger kids, the facilitator was making one batch of muffins for the class. Each child went up to the main counter, and added one or two ingredients to the bowl. The butter and sugar were already creamed together. The cheese was already grated. Once the batter was mixed, each child was given the opportunity to put some into a couple muffin cups.

The muffins had to bake for 18 minutes. During this time, our second "recipe" was to make fruit salad, or fruit kebabs on toothpicks. This didn't take 18 minutes. The fruits were grapes, strawberries and banana. We were given colouring pages to make up the rest of the time while we waited for the muffins. I think we could have done a little more hands on stuff. The kids could have grated some cheese, or creamed the butter with the sugar.

The class only cost $8.

The recipes are not tested before the class, so fortunately, the muffins turned out.

If your child is patient, and likes colouring, then this class is for you. Maybe the other classes are more interactive. If your child has to be doing stuff all the time, they might get bored and antsy in this class.

The Superstore is offering pumpkin carving times the week of Halloween. If you buy a pumpkin from the store, you can bring it upstairs and they will have all the tools and designs to carve your pumpkin there. No mess at home.

Dates: October 27 5 to 8pm, October 29 4 to 7, October 30 12 to 4.


Recipe:
Cheddar Apple Muffins (Makes 12 muffins)
Ingredients:
2 cups all purpose flour (500 mL)
1 1/2 tsp baking powder (7 mL)
1/2 tsp baking soda (2 mL)
1 tsp salt (5 mL)
3/4 cup grated cheddar cheese (175 mL)
1/2 cup butter (125 mL)
2/3 cup sugar (150 mL)
2 large eggs
1 cup apples, chopped

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C) and spray muffin cups with cooking spray or use paper liners.
2. Combine the first 4 ingredients of dry mixture together in a large bowl.
3. Add grated cheese and blend.
4. Cream together butter and sugar with an electric mixer, and add to dry ingredients.
5. Add eggs, break into a separate bowl first, one at a time, and mix well.
6. Add apples, and stir until just combined.
7. Fill muffin tins 2/3 full.
8. Bake 18 to 20 minutes, test at 18 minutes for doneness.

Suger-Free Cookie Recipes actually tried. Here's the verdict.

I don't know about you, but when I first became a mom, I tried to shelter my daughter from all the evils in food. I bought her organic milk. I tried not to give her sugary cereals. I made my own baby food with simple, wholesome ingredients. Of course, she wasn't the greatest eater. I distinctly remember one day a friend had some Gerber puffs (they looked like Cheezies in toddler food packaging), and this was the one thing my daughter decided she liked to eat that day. My heart sank.

Of late we have noticed she doesn't like to eat many of the foods she adored as a younger child. She is three, and quite picky. Her younger brother, who is 14 months, will eat pretty much anything: most veggies and meat, bread, cheese, yoghurt, fruit. We are hoping this continues, and he doesn't follow in his sister's footsteps. However, I think it happens to most children. When they start to think for themselves, they get a little (or a lot) picky with their food choices.

I came across some recipes for sugar-free cookies in the Alive magazine my mother picked up at her health food store. The website, alive.com, has lots of other recipes, if you are interested in checking them out. I decided to make a couple of their sugar-free cookie recipes to see how they would turn out, and how they would go over with my kids.

"Sugar-free" in this case means you aren't using sugar in the recipe. The cookies are sweetened with dried apricot purée or dried date purée. You make the purées by boiling the dried fruit in enough water to cover them. You cook them until the water is almost all absorbed. Then you purée the mixture.

I tried two recipes:

Lemon Cookies with Cinnamon Date Topping

These elegant cookies consist of a lemony crust topped with a mixture of dates, pecans, almond butter, and cinnamon.

2/3 cup (160 mL) chopped Medjool dates
1/3 cup (80 mL) chopped pecans
1/3 cup (80 mL) date purée
2 Tbsp (30 mL) almond butter
3/4 tsp (4 mL) cinnamon
1 cup (250 mL) whole wheat pastry flour (try Bulk Barn)
1/2 tsp (2 mL) baking soda
1/2 tsp (2 mL) salt
1 Tbsp (15 mL) lemon zest
1/4 tsp (1 mL) cinnamon
3/4 cup (180 mL) apricot purée
1/4 cup (60 mL) organic canola oil

Preheat oven to 375 F (190 C).

In small mixing bowl, mix dates, pecans, date purée, almond butter, and cinnamon. Set aside.

In medium-sized mixing bowl, mix flour, baking soda, salt, zest, and cinnamon and incorporate apricot purée and oil.

Using a 1 oz (30 mL) cookie scoop, measure dough and form into balls, flatten with your palms, and place on oiled baking tray. Top each cookie with 1 Tbsp (15 mL) date mixture.

Bake in preheated oven, watching carefully, for about 14 minutes or until edges are browned. Let cool. Serve!

Makes 16 cookies.

Each serving contains: 133 calories; 2 g protein; 6 g total fat (1 g sat. fat); 19 g carbohydrates (12 g sugar); 3 g fibre; 112 mg sodium

Source: alive #335, September 2010


Chocolate Chip Mango Sesame Cookies

Mango, sesame, and chocolate—are these tasty
combined in a cookie? The resounding answer is yes.

1 cup (250 mL) whole wheat pastry flour (at Bulk Barn)
1/2 tsp (2 mL) baking soda
1/2 tsp (2 mL) salt
1/2 tsp (2 mL) ground ginger
1/4 tsp (1 mL) cinnamon
1 Tbsp (15 mL) sesame seeds
1/4 cup (60 mL) chocolate or carob chips
1/2 cup (125 mL) chopped mango
3/4 cup (180 mL) apricot purée (see cookie makeover tips)
1 Tbsp (15 mL) sesame oil
3 Tbsp (45 mL) cashew butter

Preheat oven to 375 F (190 C).

In medium-sized mixing bowl, mix flour, baking soda, salt, ginger, cinnamon, seeds, and chocolate chips. Stir in mango.

Incorporate apricot purée, sesame oil, and cashew butter into flour mixture. Using a 1 oz (30 mL) cookie scoop, measure dough and form into balls, flatten with your palms, and place on oiled baking tray.

Bake in preheated oven, watching carefully, about 17 minutes or until golden. Let cool. Serve.

Makes 16 cookies.

Each serving contains: 77 calories; 2 g protein; 3 g total fat (1 g sat. fat); 11 g carbohydrates (5 g sugar); 2 g fibre; 113 mg sodium

Source: alive #335, September 2010

Now, the lemon cookies didn't get a "lemony crust" in my case. I don't think I put the full tablespoon of lemon zest though, so this might be the reason. I found the lemon cookies much more time consuming to make because I didn't have date purée already made. I had some apricot purée leftover from my son's days of eating purées, and I had enough to make the mango chocolate chip cookies. All I had to do was defrost the cubes.

The lemon cookies themselves weren't super tasty, but the topping was awesome. I would just eat the topping, and leave the cookies. My daughter didn't like either the cookie, or the topping. My son ate them both, quite readily. My husband put some leftover chocolate icing from the fridge on the cookies, and said they were good that way. This is how he ate the mango chocolate chip cookies too.

The mango cookies, as I said, were much easier to make. I think I would put more of the spices in the mix to give it a bit more zip. The mango is an interesting addition, but makes for quite soft cookies. I was able to get 19 cookies from this recipe. (I only got 12 cookies for the lemon recipe). Again, my daughter didn't really like these. She tried to eat only the chocolate chips, but couldn't find enough, so gave up. My son loves these cookies. I think they taste okay. Certainly not super sweet.

Neither of these cookies look like traditional cookies. They are quite lumpy, and have the same texture of hermit cookies. They are soft, and small. I am not sure if the "benefits" of eating more wholesome cookies outweighs the effort of making the purées. However, odds are, your kids aren't really going to like these, unless they have been already raised on a wholesome, vegan-type diet.

If you are looking for these recipes (and a couple other sugar-free cookie recipes) online. Go to alive.com. Click on recipes, desserts. These recipes are towards the end of the 140+ recipes in this category.

Let us know if you have better success getting your children to eat them.

Bra Shopping

I don't know about other women, but I don't particularly like bra shopping. Shoe shopping is another thing I abhor, but unlike bra shopping, you are unlikely to walk away with the wrong size of shoe. Unless, you have feet of completely different sizes. Actually, a friend of mine wished shoes were sold separately (i.e., not in pairs) because she has one foot at least half a size bigger than the other. But, I digress.

Bra shopping is annoying for many reasons. First, it is comparable to swimsuit shopping (or any type of shopping that requires trying on a garment), in that if you don't find a flattering style, it can make you feel less than happy about your body shape.

Second, bras, like many clothes items, seem to fit differently depending on the make. You might think you know what size you are, but it could be quite different for each brand of bra. 85% of women do not wear the right fitting bra. Could this be because even though we have tried to learn how to measure ourselves, we still can't pick out the right size without "expert" advice? Oprah does her bra show, and we see how every woman is wearing the wrong type of bra, but we still can't pick out the right bra for ourselves.

Third, bras are expensive. I usually buy cheap bras. Well, what I consider cheap are the $25 ones from LaSenza. They often don't fit me well, but I hate spending the time going through all the styles, trying to find a bra suited to my body type. After about a year, the underwires start poking out, and I have to chuck them, or sew the hole shut. The sewing thing usually just staves off the inevitable, of having to chuck them, for another couple of months.

What am I getting at here? I went bra shopping today, and it was relatively painless, except for the fact that it hit me in my wallet. I spent about $100 on one bra. It is a great bra, very flattering, and presumably the right size and fit for my body, but I did spend $100 on one bra. (Chantelle: Style 3858)

Before my wedding, I used to buy bras at the department store, or places like LaSenza and La Vie en Rose. I always bought a 38B. I don't know how I got that size. I don't remember ever measuring myself and saying, I must be a 38B, but that was the size I was buying for almost 15 years.

When I went to buy my wedding bra, I was fitted by a woman at a lingerie shop. She told me I was not a 38B, but a 36 B/C. I spent $150 on my wedding bra. It was a LeJaby (look at me name dropping bra brands!) I still wear it. It is a very flattering bra, but the underwire is starting to poke through it it as well. Apparently, you are supposed to hand wash your bras. Not likely to happen when you are a mother of two young children.

For the past three and a half years, I have either been wearing LaSenza bras much bigger than my regular size, or nursing bras because I have either been pregnant or nursing. Now that my son is a year old, I have been trying to find flattering bras in my collection at home, without much luck.

I went back to the lingerie shop, and presumably the same woman was able to measure me with her hands, and pick out three well fitting and flattering bras in a matter of minutes. I am now a 34D, but could be a 32 in some brands, and a different cup size. See what I mean about needing expert help?

Yes, I did spend quite a lot of money on one bra, but I also saved a lot of time. I was in and out of the shop in about 15 minutes. If I go to LaSenza, I often have to spend up to an hour finding a bra that fits, and I am usually just fed up, not satisfied, at the end of the ordeal. It is often an ordeal.

My experience today was pleasant, if not enjoyable. The woman helping me out said I was very easy to fit. She was finding bras flattering to my shape, and they looked great under my clothes. When you shop at a specialty store, you are also paying for the service as well as the product. I am not likely to hand wash this bra either, but I will certainly be more gentle with it than I would be with my LaSenza bras.

I guess you have to look at it this way. My bra may have cost 4Xs more than the bras I usually buy, but I probably won't have to go shopping for a new bra as often. In the long run, I probably spend just as much when I buy cheaper bras because they are not as well made, and don't last as long. We often get what we pay for.

So, dads don't have to change their babies outside the home?

I do like the convenience of having baby change tables in public washrooms. I especially like the family washrooms many malls, museums and airports have available. What I don't understand is why so few places have change tables in the men's washrooms.

I am sure there are many fathers who go out of the house with their infant and toddler children. I have had to change my children on the floor of a public washroom before. However, as a woman, I can usually find a Koala Care change table in one of the stalls in the women's washroom. Changing a squirmy child on a dirty public bathroom floor is not fun. Other patrons tend to frown when you use the sink countertop (if there is enough room). If you are lucky, there might be a bench, making it a little easier and sanitary.

In this day and age, we should be encouraging fathers to participate in all aspects of their children's lives. It isn't just an issue of getting dads out with their kids, though. When you are on a road trip as a family, it saves time if one parent can change a child while the other parent is feeding a child. If the mother is nursing a baby, it falls on the father to change the other child. Not convenient if there is no change table in the men's washroom.

I don't know how expensive these change tables are, but I think if a public place (mall, restaurant, movie theatre, etc.) is going to install one in the women's washroom, they should also put one in the men's washroom.

Once you have children, your perspective of the world completely changes. You realize all the things that are not child or family friendly. Public places should have a family consultant when they build. How can we make this building family-friendly? I know for any given family, the length of time your children are small, and require special attention lasts for only a few years. However, other people are having kids, and there will always be a need to cater to families with young children.

IKEA hacks

Check out the following website/blog to find some interesting ways to use IKEA furniture. There are a few designs for play kitchens, dollhouses, and ways to create different loft beds for children's rooms. If you have innovative ways of using IKEA furniture, you can contribute your own designs as well.

http://ikeahacker.blogspot.com/

How many Facebook "friends" does one person need?

Back in 2007, I kept getting emails from people in my contact list asking me to join Facebook. I ignored most of these messages, since many were coming from my former students in Mexico, with whom I rarely, if ever, communicated. Then, I started getting Friend Requests from people I would actually call my friends. I gave in and created a Facebook account.

When I set up my account, I did not let the program go through my list of email addresses, and send out Friend Requests to everyone on my contact list. Many people, for whom I have email addresses, would not be interested in using Facebook. I also have business contacts, and I think it would be tacky for them to receive an email from Facebook.

Initially, I loved the idea of Facebook. I thought it was very cool to reconnect with people I used to hang out with in university. It gave you that "where are they now" update. It made it extremely easy to keep up with my true friends, and just drop them a line to find out if they were available for coffee, or a playdate with our kids. People upload their pictures, and I can see how they are doing, even though they are so far away.

I have friends all over the world. Really, these are people I make an effort to see if I am in their part of the world. I have friends in France, Germany, Hawaii, Mexico, Uruguay and various provinces in Canada. Quite a few of these friends, I connect with through Facebook. I used to use Windows Messenger for chatting, but Facebook tends to be the norm now. I think more people like to connect through this medium. Most people no longer send emails, but messages through Facebook.

I assume the majority of my "friends" were either already active requests that popped up when I created an account. Or, I sought out my own friends: people with whom I was interested in keeping touch.

That being said, I would say 75% of my "friends" I never post anything on their pages, or try to contact at all. I keep thinking I should cull my list and whittle it down to the people I "talk" with on a regular basis. Kind of like cleaning out your closet of clothes you no longer wear. Get rid of the clutter.

Now, I seem to be getting Friend Requests from people in my home town. I am still friends with a handful of people I graduated with, 20 years ago. However, I have recently been getting requests from people I haven't spoken to in about 20 years. Some of them will send multiple requests.

A few months back, I would usually accept a request from someone, if I knew them, even though we hadn't been in touch for 20 to 25 years. Now, I usually think first, "Will I ever communicate with this person? Have we been communicating with each other recently?" If either answer is no, I will ignore the request.

I am not trying to be rude, or make a statement on how I feel about these people. I just don't see the point of having someone on my network if I will never see them socially. Many of these requests have been from people I wasn't friends with 20 years ago. Or, we were friends, when we were 12 years-old, but stopped being friends before I graduated.

I often wonder what the motivation is on the part of the person making the request. Are they truly interested in reconnecting with me, or are they just trying to build up their "friend cache"? Social networking is a great way to communicate with people, but if it doesn't actually lead to face to face contact, what is the point?

One of my friends' husband, who isn't even on Facebook, says he is trying to reduce the number of friends he has down to one or two. It was probably meant tongue in cheek, but he also had a point. His wife kept accepting requests from everyone because she felt guilty if she ignored them. I am here to say, ignore those requests. People are being lazy, trying to contact you through Facebook. If they truly want to be your friend, they will find another way to make it known.

Now, how do I remove people already on my list without making them think I don't "like" them anymore?

5 eco-friendly things I do most weeks

1. I just started using soap nuts to do my laundry.

These are fruits from a Soapberry tree (Sapindus mukorrosi. It is related to the lychee). You place 2 to 3 of the "nuts" into the cloth bag provided, and use them to wash your clothes, instead of laundry detergent. The nuts can be reused 2 to 5 times, depending on the water temperature, and can be placed in your compost bin when they are finished. Soap nuts contain sopanin which is a surfactant (it reduces water tension, and enables dirt to leave the clothes).

2. I use cloth bags, or reuse plastic bags when I shop.

Long before it was fashionable to have reusable shopping bags, I was annoying grocery store cashiers and baggers by bringing my own bags. In the mid 80s, Canadian Superstores were selling heavy duty reusable plastic bags, so I was exposed to this at an early age. In university, I would often pack groceries into my backpack or carryall. I no longer get funny looks from the cashiers, but I still have to tell many retail store employees that I don't need their bags.

3. I hang my laundry out to dry whenever possible.

I think many people still do this. I see clotheslines full of drying clothes on sunny days. When I was younger, my mom always put our laundry outside in the summer time. The clothes would smell great, and we weren't using the dryer during the hot, sticky days.

4. I am using cloth diapers with my children. This includes reusable swimming diapers too.

See my previous blog entry from April if you want to debate whether or not cloth diapers are more eco-friendly than disposables. I still think because I am reducing the amount of garbage going into landfills, that this is a good move.

5. We compost our perishable garbage.

Thanks to our city's composting program, our food garbage (peels, oils, leftover bits) goes into a compost bin, and it is picked up weekly by the recycling truck. If your city does not have a green bin program, you can compost your food waste on your own. However, I think you would not be able to compost the variety of things we are able to put in our city's compost.

Plus one more...

I try to walk or cycle to nearby stores or places (library, parks, Kindermusik) if possible, weather permitting. This doesn't always happen with two kids in tow, but I used to be an avid biker in Vancouver. I biked to school, and work. I didn't have a car when I lived in Vancouver. Sudbury is not as biker or pedestrian friendly, and the communities are too spread apart. Very often, you need your vehicle to get from point A to point B. I am hoping this will soon change.

Road trip, with baby and two year-old

We did our first extended road trip with our two children this month. We (I) decided it might be easier (less expensive) to drive to Winnipeg from Sudbury with our two children (10 1/2 month-old boy and almost 3 year-old girl) instead of flying there, and renting a van for the week. We probably did save money, even with hotel stays, restaurant meals, and gas costs. Would I do this again? I think so. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

THE GEAR:

• Suitcase filled with mom's and kids' clothes. Probably enough for a week, plus extra stuff for unpredictable weather.
• Duffel bag filled with dad's clothes.
• Cosleeper, converted to mini-playpen, for the baby to sleep in.
• Potty seat, and potty, in case my daughter decided she wanted to start potty training on the trip. One can only dream.
• Two booster seats, in case family and friends don't have high chairs.
• Stroller
• Backpack carrier, that wasn't used. I used my sling because it was just easier and less cumbersome.
• Box of food for kids, and snack for parents.
• Cooler bag for milk, or water
• Bag of toys to keep kids entertained.
• Bag of books, colouring books, stickers and etch-a-sketch things.
• Lots of DVDs.
• Portable DVD player.
• Children's music. "Adult" music.
• Portable computer with wireless modem.
• Cell phone (depending on your provider, it might not work everywhere).
• Two bags of disposable diapers (might seem like a no brainer, but we use cloth at home).
• Maps.
• Passports (just in case)
• Plus, a bunch of stuff to give to my brother, who is going to be a father to twin boys very soon.

We planned (and succeeded) in making the trip from Sudbury to Winnipeg in three days, with stops in Wawa and Thunder Bay. By far, the worst day of the whole trip was the first day of driving.

In my mind, I thought we would be going bonkers by spending extended periods of time in the van, and we would need to take a long break in between driving stints to re-energize. I envisioned us going to museums, or taking nature walks, or finding a beach to swim in for half an hour. I don't know what I was thinking. If the trip is the vacation, then by all means, take your time. If the road trip is just to get to your destination, drive, eat, drive, sleep.

THE TRIP:

Day 1: Sudbury to Wawa, 550km. Departure 10:10am. Lunch in Sault Ste. Marie, 2pm, at Joey Calzone's. We walked along the canal, and in Station Mall in The Soo, after lunch. Arrival in Wawa, 7:30pm. Spent the night at Northern Lights Motel. It is nice and clean, kind of quirky with notes everywhere. The kids liked the rubber ducks. We liked the extra large bathroom to put the cosleeper, and close the door.

Kids: They did okay. My daughter was entertained by her DVDs. My son was the limiting factor since a fussy baby needs to be soothed, and we had to stop before getting to Wawa. He had two goopy (possibly infected) eyes by the end of the first day.

Advice: Stop sooner, in Blind River or Ironbridge, especially if you leave after 10am. Don't spend too much time after lunch sight-seeing. Get back into your vehicle and drive to your destination. Have your chill time when you get to the motel.

Also, take your kids to the doctor before you leave on vacation, or bring along any prescriptions you might have used on them. When we went to France two years ago, my daughter had her sixth bout of conjunctivitis and it started as soon as we got on the plane. I had left her drops at home. We had to visit a doctor in France. Our insurance reimbursed us.

Day 2: Wawa to Thunder Bay, 470km. Departure 10:20am (after visiting one of Wawa's many geese). Lunch in Terrace Bay, 1:30pm, at Drifters. Arrival in Thunder Bay at 5:30pm. Spent the night at the Days Inn North (no pool, but newly built in 2007). Supper at Marsala Grille, yummy Indian food.

Advice: Maybe visit the geese on the way back. Northern Lights Motel is west of Wawa along the highway, and we backtracked to see the main goose just off the highway. Do stop and check out the play structure and Winnie the Pooh in White River, but make sure your kids know it is a short break. Unfortunately, the plaque was stolen last month. Make sure you take in the views while travelling from Wawa to Thunder Bay, the drive is spectacular.

Day 3: Thunder Bay to Winnipeg, 700km. Departure 8:45am (we failed to find a walk in clinic that opened before noon). Lunch in Dryden, 1pm, at McD's, after a one hour visit to the hospital for my son who developed a rash to go along with the goopy eyes. Keep in mind, we passed into the Central Time Zone shortly after leaving Thunder Bay. Arrival in Winnipeg at 5:30pm.

Kids: My daughter didn't watch her DVD player at all this day. She was occupied with reading, and colouring and napping. Despite having sad eyes and a rash, my son was in great spirits.

Advice: The Dryden hospital is not too busy, and the emergency room is in the newer section, only 10 years old. Note: if both eyes are goopy, it is probably not an eye infection and is more likely due to sinus problems. Travelling west is always nice because you gain time.

THE RETURN TRIP:

The return trip was quite similar, expect we tweaked a few things. We tried to leave earlier on our longer days, and we didn't drive as long before having lunch. The DVD player was very helpful, but not always necessary. As with the trip out, my daughter was entertained by her books on the last day of the return trip, and we didn't even take out the DVD player.

Be careful about stopping to play, especially if you have a temperamental two or three year-old on your hands. We often had issues leaving a place because my daughter was having fun sliding or playing with toys. Be sure to give your child lots of warning before you leave, or specify it will be a short playtime, or figure out how to "bribe" her back into the van without incident.

By far the worst part of the road trip was sleeping in the same room as the kids. We were able to put the baby in the bathroom, or "down" the hall. However, our daughter was sleeping in the bed next to us, and refused to go to sleep. We would have to sleep in her bed and get her to fall asleep. You could splurge and get a two room suite (more expensive) or try to find bed and breakfast places that would allow small children (unlikely).

If your infant is bottle fed, you might be able to soothe him without stopping the vehicle, as long as he can hold his own bottle. We would have to stop, so I could nurse my son, but the break was usually welcomed by all.

If anyone else has some practical road trip advice, feel free to leave a comment.

Where's the fence for our park?

When the city began construction on a new play structure in Hanmer, my first thought was, "Could they have picked a more dangerous location?" My sentiments were echoed by almost every parent I spoke with at my playgroup, or at Kindermusik, or around the neighbourhood.

The new park is located right in front of the Howard Armstrong Recreation Centre. Highly visible, but surrounded by roads. A major highway on one side (the speed limit is 60 km/hr, but we all know people are driving much faster), a major road on the other, and a parking lot right beside. All we could ask was, "What were they thinking?" Many parents wondered if anyone was consulted about this location. They wondered why they didn't just replace the aging play structure by the soccer fields, in a seemingly safer location.

Then, they started building a water/spray park next to the new play structure. Okay, so this location was selected because the city could access water more easily there. Still, we assumed once the park was finished, a fence would be put up to enclose this area, and make it a safe place to bring our children to play.

The snow fence was removed from around the play structure a few weeks ago. The city had a sign up saying "Park Closed", but that didn't stop people from bringing their children to check it out. Despite the construction going on outside of the recreation centre, people are still frequenting the park. It is good that families are using the play structure, but many parents are anxious of having to make sure their children don't run onto the road.

The spray park was officially functional on Monday, June 21. It was a hot day, and many families came to check it out. I didn't make it there until Thursday, June 25. It too was a busy evening. Kids kept pushing the water timer, and the water was not draining from the splash pad. It was like a shallow wading pool with about a foot of water collecting above the two small drains.

There were kids of all ages, and quite a few toddlers. Parents were being very diligent about watching their children, but at 6pm, the traffic on the roads was high. I was feeling very nervous because I know how quickly my daughter can run, and I wasn't sure if I could get to her if she headed for the road. Plus, I had my son, in a stroller. I would often have to leave him to follow her around the park.

I was not the only single parent. Many single mothers, and fathers, were there with more than one child. It certainly makes for an active time at the park, if you have to run after your children, and make sure they don't head for the streets (remember two major, high traffic roads and a parking lot). We finally a play structure that is safe for little ones, but the location is less than ideal.

If you have a pool in your yard, you have to have a fence around it. The way the water was (not) draining, the water park was essentially a wading pool. Shouldn't the city have a fence around it? It should be a no brainer. I shouldn't have to call, and ask if it is in the plans. It is not, by the way. I did call, and Kevan Moxam told me they are not planning on putting a fence around the park. They might put a fence near the parking lot, but the roads are "quite a distance" from the play structure, and the ditches should be a deterrent to the children running on the road.

The play structure is one of three, new, handicap accessible play structures going up in the city. The other two are located at James Jerome (Lily Creek, off Paris, behind the new soccer field. It is supposed to open in August), and Ridgecrest Park (off LaSalle). It is a wonderful play structure. I think the best part is the spongy ground underfoot. One parent described it like "walking on the moon".

Most parents like how children of all ages and capabilities can use this play structure. The reason we have it now is because the Accessibility Advisory Panel did a survey of the city, and found there were no fully accessible and inclusive play structures in the City of Greater Sudbury. The panel feels "having all children play together promotes the participation of children with disabilities and their families and facilities the development of attitudes of acceptance and respect and dignity amongst all individuals". The city council agreed and set aside about $220,000 for the play structures. As we can see from the signage as well, the federal government contributed money as part of their ActionPlan initiative.

Why this dangerous location? The people on the Accessibility Advisory Panel picked this location for a reason. There was already access for handicapped individuals because this plot of land is located right beside the handicap parking spaces in front of the Howard Armstrong Recreation Centre. Okay, so that is great, but the roads are still a concern. Wouldn't you want to protect the children playing in this area? If this play structure is meant to be used by everyone, shouldn't it be safe for everyone?

I was told to get a list of everyone who has concerns and to send Kevan Moxam an email voicing these concerns. Better yet, people who are concerned should call the city and ask to speak to him directly. Ask about the location, tell him you do not feel your child is in a safe location.

Here are other reasons I was given for this particular location:

• New parks are being placed in highly visible, public areas. (To see our tax dollars at work?)
• Wouldn't you feel safer having your child play in a public park, as opposed to a secluded park?
• To build it by the soccer fields would mean building water pipes to that location, the cost would be too high, the water park wouldn't have been built.
• This location was selected for its accessibility. The public doesn't realize there are many factors to consider when building new play structures.
• Benches and a sun shelter are also in the plans.
• The James Jerome park is located right on Paris Street, and it doesn't have a fence either. (But there is a soccer field in front of it, and a fence in front of the soccer field.)

Another concern is that the water from the spray park is not being recycled or at the very least re-purposed. The drain for the splash pad is going into the ditch and the water is being wasted. This spring we were dealing with extremely low water levels, and water conservation is a serious concern for us. We certainly take our water for granted in Canada, but we shouldn't. If the city is going to spend money building facilities that use water, they should be mandated to think of ways to reuse this water.

If recycling the water through the spray park is too expensive (because you would have to treat it before it comes back through the system), then figure out a way to reuse the water elsewhere. A water park in Morden, Manitoba was going to reuse the water for trees and flowers in the city that needed watering. If the cost of having a recycling program for the water was too much, maybe the city shouldn't have built the spray parks. Private citizens will probably have to experience a water ban, or some form of water conservation this summer. The city should be accountable too.

If you want a fence around your new parks, please call the city (311) and speak with Kevan Moxam, or email him at kevan.moxam@greatersudbury.on.ca with your concerns. Or, leave you name on the post, and we can start a sort of online petition.

(not) As Crafty As I Want To Be

I never really considered myself super crafty, but as time goes on, the things I have made on my own increase in number. As a kid, growing up, I had to take home ec. and learn how to sew, but I was never really good at it. The clothes I made in high school were seldom worn, and quite ugly. I was not adept at picking out fabric that would make a nice looking (insert article of clothing). I remember I made a blue (bright blue) and white striped sweatshirt. I wore it only a couple of times. This was before I was aware of World Cup soccer, and cheering for Argentina was cool. Hmmm, maybe I can use that as my excuse if people ever call me on it :).

I tried knitting too, but I used to have so much tension, I couldn't get the needles under the yarn, and I would have lots of holes. Flash forward to my years in Chapleau, and I needed to take up a "hobby". I knit a couple of blankets and a sweater for my best friend, and another for her baby. I made umpteen hats and scarves. Nice enough that they were bid on in the school bazaar. I have let knitting fall to the wayside, again, but now I am into sewing.

Currently, my issue with doing crafts, and sewing is that I rarely have time to myself to start a project, let alone finish one. Last year, I had to make myself a gypsy dance outfit. I was able to get out and work at my friend's place (plus I was pregnant, so only had one little munchkin to "distract" me). Now, if I want to do any sewing, I need to make my husband aware that I am not to be disturbed and I close the door. My two year old daughter likes to play with my sewing machine (and pins, and needles and scissors). It is not conducive to completing a sewing project.

If I do decide to start a craft project, I basically have to finish it as soon as possible, or it will never get finished. Case in point: I have been working on a quilt for my son for six or seven months now. I just never get enough time to do any work on it. I will buy fabric, and it will sit in my craft room for months (or over a year) before I decide to do something with it.

Amazingly, I managed to make a window treatment for my daughter's room in one day! I found a super easy pattern for a tie up curtain, and I managed to start and finish it (almost) in about 6 hours. It would help if I read the instructions thoroughly before I started sewing. The project might have taken even less time. I am quite impressed with how it turned out. I hope it will go with the new paint job we are planning for her room. Here's the link, in case you want to try these curtains. http://sew4home.com/projects/window-treatments/84-ribbon-tie-fold-up-shades

Now, I say I almost finished because the original window treatment was attached with hooks, and I needed to put grommets into my curtains. I bought the grommets, but I didn't put them in for another two weeks. Plus, because the hooks are so narrow, there was a risk they would tear through the fabric. I had to buy a quarter round to have it rest on the hooks, and support the weight of the fabric. The curtains are heavy duty cotton, plus black out material, quite heavy.

Other "crafty" projects I am proud of are my jewelry (which I got into because of Julie and Danielle at Mimi and Lulu's. How I miss their shop! It was so great when it was down the road from me). I was able to make quite a few necklaces and bracelets because I only had my daughter, and she was still napping in the afternoons. I was never into making jewelry, but after a couple of workshops, I was hooked.

I also made some felt stockings. The first one was for my daughter. I made this at Mimi and Lulu's too. Then, a couple of years later, I made stockings for the rest of the family. I was supposed to make them the year before, but morning sickness prevented me from finding my scissors, and the project was put on the back burner. Yes, you read that correctly. I couldn't find my scissors, and I blame my morning sickness from making me not think clearly. They ended up being in my knitting bag. I found them when I started another knitting project, a few months later.

Oh Baby - BlogDetail, leila blog ecomommy

I came across this blog from one of the contributors to Oh Baby magazine. It talks about how the active ingredient in sunscreen is a hormone disruptor. It is interesting because, I have not been putting sunscreen on my children. I try to keep them in the shade, or we don't go outside in the peak hours of the day. Using sunscreen prevents our bodies from making Vitamin D. We are already having issues with Vitamin D deficiency in the winter, could we end up having it in the summer too. I often wonder what goes into the sunscreens to block the UV rays. I know skin cancer is a definite concern, but we need to be cautious of our exposure to chemicals as well as our exposure to the sun. People were living outside and working outside long before we came up with chemicals to "protect" us.
Oh Baby - BlogDetail, leila blog ecomommy

Grow Great Grub

When we left Chapleau and moved back to the Sudbury area there were two things I really wanted when I had my own house. I wanted a barbecue, and I wanted a clothesline. I know this does not sound ambitious, but after years of living in apartments or townhouses with no yards, I was looking forward to having a space to barbecue and somewhere to hang my clothes out to dry in the spring and summer.

We got the barbecue (almost a year after we moved), and my clothesline is a rope tied between two fence posts. Oh well. Not ideal, but it works.

With the house, came the yard. Our "lawn" is awful. The nicest grass is right beside the house or the driveway. The rest of the yard is full of dandelions (early spring), then hawkweed and clover. The hawkweed looks okay when the pretty, little yellow flowers are out, but once they go to seed, it looks horrible. We need to remove all the vegetation and put sod down if we want to have a nice, grassy lawn (like my neighbour...last year, everyone kept asking it was real, it was so uniform and weed free...hmmm, lawn envy).

My least favourite thing about my yard was the lack of plants. There were no flowerbeds, at all. I dug one up in the front and planted a bunch of bulbs. It actually looks really nice in the spring because all the crocuses come out, then the daffodils and then the tulips. I acquired some irises from my mom a couple of years ago, but they don't look great (despite being my favourite flower). After they are done, my front bed is just full of green: old tulips, irises and daffodils, green sedum, green hostas ( a couple variegated). Somewhere under all the green, I have two little lavender plants, but they hardly have a chance.

In the back, I had originally dug up two plots by the fence. (I have no idea why I though two separate bed would look better than one long one.) My mom dug up the sod in between the two to make one long bed. It looks much better. I actually tried to buy perennial plants that would flower throughout the summer, and I think I sort of succeeded. Then, I randomly would plant some tomatoes in the open spaces, or a few pea plants by the fence, so I can have a "vegetable garden" too.

I am a wishful gardener. I wish I could garden. My mom is a great gardener, but I never did much with her when I was younger. When they moved from Manitoba to Ontario, they didn't buy a new house, they bought a new garden. Her yard is gorgeous. I got married in my parents' backyard because it is so beautiful. I do not have a yard like this.

I often wish I could grow vegetables, but I thought this meant setting aside some land in the back where I would have an in ground place to plant fruits and veggies. Then, I came across this wonderful book called, Grow Great Grub, by Gayla Trail. http://www.growgreatgrub.com/ I am still a wishful gardener, but after reading her book, I feel I can have part of my garden in containers, and it won't be that bad.

Like I said, I will often plant a few peas or tomatoes in my flower bed. This year, I have also got some herbs in pots. I sowed some lettuce (mesclun mix) and basil in some big pots. Last year, the weather was just too cold, and my multiple tomato plants yielded so few fruit. I only have two plants this year, but I am hoping the weather will be more favourable, and I might end up with more fruit.

I bought a bunch of herbs at the end of last summer, but they all died in my house over the winter. I read through the book, and will try to use some of the tips to see if I can actually over winter these plants in my home until next spring. We shall see how that goes!

If you have been reluctant about trying your hand at growing your own food, check out this book. I borrowed it from the library. Even if you don't end up growing anything, it is still a nice read. It has beautiful photos, and some recipes for using the food you might end up growing. I really like that it is written by a Canadian, although the information is not specific to any geographic region.

Another great book (but more specific to pregnant women, or parents with new babies) is called Sprout Right, by Lianne Phillipson-Webb http://www.sproutright.com/. If you are interested in organic, natural recipes for you, your baby or your toddler, this is the book for you. Lots of great information about nutrition and quite empowering if you have been struggling with breastfeeding or your child has weight "issues".

Food Revolutions

I love Jamie Oliver. Seriously. I have been a fan of his since the Naked Chef. He was pretty much my last celebrity crush because I met my husband the following year. My husband actually does the "fake" jealousy when I am watching or reading Jamie. "Why don't you marry him instead?" Ah, I would if I could. Just kidding. I really, truly love my husband. But Jamie ... sigh :).

That being said, it makes me sad Jamie Oliver has to teach us how to cook, and eat. What has happened to our society? I assumed most people knew how to make a meal for themselves, from fresh ingredients. I thought most people bought veggies and fruit. When did dinner end up being in front of the TV with a plastic tray?

In my home, growing up, we never had a TV near the kitchen. The only time we ate supper in front of the TV was when dad was away. We would usually have the stereo on. My parents were huge CBC fans. Generally, we would have "mood" music playing in the background while we ate. We always ate supper together, at the kitchen table, even on days when I had gymnastics or piano, or my brother had some activity.

My mom was born in Trinidad, raised in England, and moved to Canada in her 20s. She loves to cook and bake. She would seek out people of different nationalities and learn their specialities. She learned dishes from my Oma (her mother in law). My mom makes an awesome spanokopita (Greek spinach, feta and phyllo pie) and her koenigsberger klopse (German meatballs in white sauce with capers) are a hit with my niece and nephew. She actually doesn't make much food from Trinidad, but she has always makes good, wholesome food with fresh ingredients.

She taught me how to cook. I honestly don't remember her teaching me, but I was always cooking with her. We had a "Cookies for Kids" cookbook we used often. I remember flipping through her old Joy of Cooking, and her Betty Crocker cookbook from the 60s. In high school, she bought my brother and I cookbooks for Christmas one year. We had to pick a night when we would be in charge of dinner. It is a lot of work to come up with interesting meals every night of the week, so my mom recruited us.

Our family meals were simple, but they always included some vegetable (something green or orange: usually broccoli or carrots, but sometimes asparagus or beans), meat and often rice (potatoes were not as common on our plates). We would make our own pizzas from scratch. Very rarely would be have something premade for dinner. If my parents were away for the evening, my brother and I might have Swanson's meat pies.

We almost always had brown bread in the house. The sweetest cereal we ate was Honey Nut Cheerios. We rarely had pop in the house. I actually didn't like it much because I would get those pop burps. You know, the ones that go up your nose! Chips were only available when we had company.

My mom instilled in me some wonderful values and habits. I kept these habits when I moved out. Although I often would make a one pot wonder for supper, (when you are cooking for one, it is easier to put everything together in one pot), I used fresh ingredients. I had one roommate who thought I was a vegetarian because I bought veggies. I bought meat too, but he never bought veggies, so thought I must be a vegetarian.

I love cooking. I love cooking for others. I feel a sense of pride when I can make a meal for my friends and see the pleasure on their faces when they try something new, and tasty. I have made eggplant haters love my eggplant Parmesan. Almost everyone I met while I was in university got to try my spicy chickpea recipe. I haven't made that in ages...hmmm, maybe I should make some tomorrow.

I made a soufflé for my mom's birthday this year. First time ever, and it turned out! Baked cheesecake! I spent a summer making cheesecakes with my best friend. I am amazed we didn't pack on the pounds. Good thing we'd taken up rowing that year!

Food is so great! Making your own food is incredible. I used to read cookbooks while I was eating (this was when I lived alone, or with roommates, and we never ate together). I love watching the food network. If I spend enough time watching it, I will eventually find a recipe I want to try. Usually they turn out. My favourite magazine, by far, is the LCBO's Food and Drink magazine. Many of my go to recipes are from those magazines.

I have never dieted, but I have always tried to cook with quality ingredients. Use the good stuff, but everything in moderation. We always have a little dessert. Diets don't work, but watching what you eat does. Eat colourful food. Eat fresh food. Eat real food. Eat good food.

I know my children will grow up with a healthy attitude towards eating and cooking. My mom taught me how to cook wholesome food, and I will teach my children. Somewhere along the way, there was a breakdown in this system for a lot of families. I hope they can find their way back, and we can start to take the focus off unhealthy eating habits, and get back to enjoying being in the kitchen.

In the Battle Between the Adult and the Two Year Old, Timing is Everything

It depends on the time of day as to whether or not I will win the battle against my two year old.

Normally, in the evening, I am calm, and she can cry, and scream, and refuse to eat, sleep or listen to me. I will calmly give her the options she has, while she gears up for the high pitch screams she emits out of frustration. I win the battles in the evening. She will try to get her own way, but she won't. I rarely get angry with her at night. She can cry all she wants because mommy didn't give her cookies when she refused to eat supper, but she won't get the cookies. I am in a state of zen as she wails in the background.

Mornings are another beast altogether! Especially when I want to get out of the house to playgroup, or work. I will usually end up as frustrated as her most mornings, which means I lose. If we are heading to a playgroup, we will never get out of the house before 9:30am, regardless of what time we woke up. (In fact, the later we get up, the more likely we are to leave on time. It's so weird.)

Mornings are all about negotiations. I have to find something that will interest her, convince her that leaving the house is the better option. The prospect of seeing her friends usually works, but not always. Sometimes I offer her chocolate. Big no no because she are never supposed to reward with food. Oh well.

In the mornings, she will always want to do something entirely different from what I want to do. If she wakes up super early, she won't want to sleep just a few minutes longer for mommy's sake. If I am ready to get up and eat breakfast, she will decide she wants to play. If it is time for a bath, she will want to eat. When it is time to get out of the bath, she wants to play some more. After her bath, she will want to go back to sleep (pretend sleep).

Dressing to go ends up taking 30 minutes. She won't pick her clothes, but doesn't want to wear what mommy picked out. Of course, when we are at playgroup, she doesn't want to leave.

Every time there is a change in activity, there is a fight. For some reason, during the day, my patience is very short. It probably has to do with having a time limit, or deadline. In the evening, I usually don't have anywhere to be or anything pressing to do. I can take my time, and let my daughter cry out her frustrations. She will calm down eventually.

I need to somehow remember how I feel at these times, and use it in the mornings. I try, but it usually fails. I have tried looking at these mornings from my daughter's perspective as well. She is not allowed to continue doing what she wants to do. We always do what mommy wants to do. I could leave her to play with her toys in the mornings, but I really want to go to playgroup, not just for her sake, but for my sanity.

Like I said, timing is everything when it comes to winning battles against my two year old.

Travelling with Baby

Having children changes everything. You have to make sure you have brought gear for your baby as well as yourself, when you head out the door. It is no longer the two of you, but the three (or four, five...)of you. However, if your child is under the age of two, you can fly with your baby for free, within Canada. So, take advantage of your time off, and go on a vacation with your little one.

For the first two years of her life, my daughter took six trips. Before she turned one, she flew with me to Winnipeg and Edmonton. In the summer, my husband and I took her to France. We also did a quick trip to Penticton. After she turned one, we took her to Vancouver, and I took her again to Winnipeg. Travelling with an infant who has not yet started walking is much easier than travelling with a toddler. If you can swing it, fly with your baby before she gets too mobile.

We flew mostly with Air Canada because I had Aeroplan points to use. Living in a more isolated community, points flights are great because they are usually from your current location to your destination, inclusive of connections. If we had to pay for our flights, we would fly from Toronto, forgoing the expensive Sudbury-Toronto leg. With a points flight, you can fly from Sudbury to Winnipeg with the connection in Toronto for the same number of points as flying from Toronto directly.

Another benefit of using points is being able to have an extra stopover. When we went to Edmonton, we had a stopover (of a week) in Winnipeg for the same number of points as just flying to Edmonton round trip. If you have the time, the friends and the energy, try to combine your trips to economize on points.

Air Canada allows you to bring an extra item if you travel with your infant on your lap. When travelling alone with my daughter, I was able to bring her stroller (which was too big to carry on), her car seat and one suitcase with both our clothes. When my husband travelled with us, we were able to bring along her co sleeper (mini playpen) too (because each adult gets two pieces). If you have a smaller umbrella stroller, you can bring it to the gate, and it doesn't count towards your carry on total.

If you are going on a longer flight, such as overseas, you might want to try to get the bulkhead seats. We were able to get bulkhead seats for our trip to France, and our daughter slept in the bassinet during the flight. This also made eating meals on the plane a lot easier because neither of us had to hold my daughter while the other was eating.

International flights are not free for infants, but cost 10% of what you paid for an adult fare. So, if you can get your flight on sale, it will cost less for your child's ticket. Keep in mind, if your child has his second birthday while you are away on an international vacation, you will have to buy a seat for the return flight.

Depending on where you are travelling, you might want to invest in a portable playpen for baby to sleep in at your destination. Some hotels do provide playpens, and if you are visiting family or friends with children the same age as yours, you might not have to worry about bringing this extra piece of luggage. You can also improvise. We had a hotel room with a trundle bed, and we put it between our bed and the wall, so our daughter wouldn't fall on the floor.

Get a good baby carrier. A Baby Bjorn (or any pliable carrier) is a great thing to bring along. It doesn't take up much luggage space, and it allows you to carry your child and keeps your hands free.

Depending where you go, a stroller may or may not be convenient. In Paris, we had to fold up the stroller and carry it down the escalators to access the subway. On the other hand, we probably used every elevator in the Louvre (some of them just to get up five steps!). Also, we were often given priority in lineups because we had the stroller (or maybe just the baby). Certain cities don't have roads conducive to strollers (cobblestone, gravel), but a stroller might give you a break over carrying your baby everywhere.

Travelling with children is not impossible, it just takes some adjustment. My parents travelled with me as an infant, and then with me and my brother. We often took trips to visit their families out of country. It is all about how flexible you are willing to be. Just go with the flow, and make sure you bring as many of your convenient baby gear as you can :).

Check out the Air Canada website for more information. Remember, airline regualtions are constantly changing, so make sure you are up to date.
http://www.aircanada.com/en/travelinfo/before/youngtravellers/infant-child.html

One extra note, if you are leaving Paris from Charle de Gaulle Airport, make sure you are on the right side. There is a check in for flights going to other European countries, and another side for more international flight (i.e. flights back to Canada). We got stuck in a very long line and missed our flight home (despite arriving at the airport with time to spare). We had to spend another day in Paris. This could have been okay if we weren't so fed up about missing the flight. We were near the airport, and should have checked out the little town (Roissy) nearby instead of paying a ridulous amount for our food at the hotel.

I'll die with the Black Fly pickin' my bones...

It's that time of year again. The black flies are increasing in numbers, and being outdoors is no longer pleasant. Unlike mosquitoes, black flies feed during the day, and they feed on blood. (Female mosquitoes feed on blood after mating, for increased energy, but normally they feed on nectar.)

Black flies are sneaky too. Usually, you can't hear them like mosquitoes. They crawl on you, and you don't realize you've been bitten until you see the bloody, little bite left behind. My kids came home yesterday with a multitude of bites on their heads, and I only saw a couple of the flies! You need to make sure you are not only covered during black fly season, but that you have your clothing tucked in. Black flies will find any opening in your clothing to your skin.

Of course, once you realize the air is teeming with black flies, you start to get the "phantom itch" going on. You all know it. You start imagining black flies, and mosquitoes are biting you, even though they aren't. You swat your arm because you are positive something just bit you, but nothing is there. Lots of fun!

So, short of avoiding the outdoors during black fly season, what do we do?

Here are some recommendations:

Try to avoid being outside during the times of day when black fly attacks are most severe - morning, late afternoon and early evening. Going out on windy days will lessen the likelihood of being bit, but the flies will still land on you.

Black flies are less attracted to light-coloured clothing.

As mentioned, since black flies crawl and try to reach the warmer regions of your body, tuck your pant legs into socks or boots and wear snug, long-sleeved shirts.

If you are going to be in an area where black fly populations are thicker, bring a mosquito net to wear over your head. Black flies like heavily wooded areas and areas near running water, or pretty much anywhere up North.

Wearing an insect repellent containing DEET is effective; natural products such as citronella also work but may need to be re-applied more frequently. Keep in mind that "natural" products don't mean safe for children. They should not ingest either DEET products or natural products containing essential oils.

If you have a concern about applying DEET-based repellent to your children, a study published at www.cmaj.ca on July 15, 2003 found that DEET-based insect repellents are relatively safe when used as recommended. The researchers found the suggestion that young children are more prone than adults to the neurotoxic effects of DEET is not supported by critical evaluation of existing evidence. They also found even though Non-DEET-based insect repellents are available, based on a one-time application comparison, a product containing 10% DEET will provide a longer period of protection (3 hours) than any other repellent currently available in Canada.

(Data from the paper: DEET-based insect repellents: safety implications for children and pregnant and lactating women. By Gideon Koren, Doreen Matsui and Benoit Bailey. http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/full/169/3/209 )

Put the DEET repellent on hats or clothing, if you do not want to put it directly on your skin or your child's skin. If you have a very young child (less than one year old), put them in a playpen or a stroller with a mosquito net over top. Once your child is fairly mobile, it will be hard to keep her in an enclosed area, so just limit her exposure outside during times of peak black fly activity.

Yummy Mummy lists! Blech. Happy Mother's Day to Us Regular Folk!

Okay, so I am feeling a little bit of self pity this weekend. My husband has left me alone with my two children for the first time since my son was born. On the weekend of Mother's Day, no doubt. It is not his fault. He had commitments. I could have gone with him to Ottawa and visited my cousin, or driven down to south to visit my parents, but I decided to stay at home. There were things I wanted to do here. Visit le Salon du Livres, and there was also a Carmen Campagne concert I wanted my daughter to see.

I have such an appreciation of single moms right now. I don't have much of a support system nearby. I have some friends, but they are often busy, and you can only spend so much time at your friends' home. My parents and my inlaws don't live close enough for me to just drop the kids off. (If your parents live nearby, and watch your kids, you are so lucky!)

Imagine if you never had anyone to relieve you. I spend my whole day with my children (whom I love dearly), but I look forward to the time when my husband comes home from work to alleviate some of the stress. He gives me some breathing room at the end of the day.

This afternoon, I had to deal with yet another tantrum of my 2 and a half year old daughter. She is becoming her own woman. Oh joy! She had a complete meltdown at Salon du Livres. The whole arena, undoubtedly, could hear her screams. Mean mommy wouldn't let her have the pretty, shiny grab bag (strategically?) placed at toddler level. (Evil vendors!) Trying to explain to her that mommy had already bought her stickers didn't work. I just left her on the floor (thankfully, carpeted) as I paid, and saleswomen came up to try to make her happy. They too were unsuccessfully.

We left, and went home immediately after this incident. How do moms go out with more than two children? There are times when I just want to put my kids in a padded room (so they are safe), and curl under the covers with earplugs until they cry out their frustrations. The tag team crying has to be the worst. Or, when one makes the other cry and they go at it together.

In October, I had a two month old crying in his car seat, and my 2 year old on the sidewalk, outside a store, on the ground, wailing, refusing to move. A store clerk took my son's car seat from me, and walked to my van, so I could pick up my daughter, and get them home. She recounted her experience of being alone on a city bus with her three children. We've all been there. (By the way, I was subsequently locked out of my parents' home by my 2 year old shortly after I brought them home from this incident. Never leave your house without keys. 2 year olds can work deadbolt locks!)

Except, perhaps, those celebrity moms. This rant started because I was drowning my stress in ice cream and gossip, checking out the MSN's top 10 yummy mummys. Gorgeous, skinny, perfect women who probably have an entourage for their children, let alone themselves.

Seriously, how in awe of Angelina Joli do we have to be? She has six kids! Yes, and probably six nannies too! Certainly, no financial issues. Her house probably does have a padded room where she can put the kids, and her home is probably big enough she doesn't need earplugs, but instead heads to the other wing.

We should be celebrating the regular moms out there. The ones who go at it alone because their husbands are off in another province or country working right now. With the strike in its 10th month, a lot of moms are getting used to having dad at home with them. However, there are also a lot of fathers who had to take work outside of Ontario to be able to support their families. We all work hard to raise our children. I am sure Angelina love her kids as much as the rest of us, but I am just having pity party right now. Remember, give your mom a hug. Being a parent is the hardest job you'll ever love. Next month we get to honour our dads.

Oh, and to clarify things for the fathers, Mother's day is when dads take the children and let mom have a nice relaxing day on her own. Maybe she'll get to sleep in or have a spa day. Father's day is when dads take the children and spend time with them, bonding, playing outside, getting to know them. Uh, yes, you take the kids on BOTH days : ). We love you!!

Mother's Day Contest

Go to Nickel City Parents (http://www.nickelcityparents.ca/) to find out the details of the Mother's Day Contest. I am also planning a give away when the number of fans on my Facebook page gets to 100.

McNeil Product Recall April 30, 2010

McNeil has recalled certain medications which includes Infant Tylenol products and Infant Motrin products. You can go to the Motrin.ca site, the Tylenol.ca site or check out the following link for details and a list of the Canadian products recalled. You can get a coupon or a refund by filling out a form online.
http://www.motrin.ca/eng/pdf/Press_Release.pdf

Feeding the picky child

Don't you look on in envy when you see someone else's child eating...anything your child will not touch? Seriously, your child might be the most open-minded kid on the block when it comes to food, but maybe she just refuses to eat broccoli, or carrots, or...you get the picture. We all stress out about what to feed our children, and we all have battles at the table trying to get them to eat wholesome food. Some of us might have issues just getting our kids to eat!


My first child gave me (still gives me) no end of grief with regards to eating (and feeding). Her weight has always been low. Every other visit to the doctor would result in me having to find a way to get more food into her. She liked to hang around the 3rd percentile. I would constantly be asked if she was a premature baby. Nope, just small. Someone has to make up the bottom part of the curve!


When I finally decided to not be stubborn about exclusively breastfeeding, and tried to supplement with formula, she decided she no longer wanted eat from a bottle! Even starting her on solids didn't do much to improve her weight gain. As a two year old, she still doesn't eat very much. Mostly she'll eat a good breakfast, then I will be lucky if she eats lunch, and supper is usually out of the question.


I was given much advice on how to increase the caloric intake of my child. Supplementing my breastfeeding with formula was just the beginning. Despite the fact that breast milk is best, I apparently didn't make milk with much fat in it (although my son gained weight well from my breast milk). After we started feeding her solids, I was told to mix cream into her cereal, or add oil to her fruits and veggies.


Having a low weight as an infant is a concern for brain development, so you want to make sure your child is thriving. Being diagnosed with a child who "fails to thrive" is a big deal. Outside authorities can become involved. My daughter has been meeting her milestones despite having a low weight, which leads me to be a lot less concerned about her weight.


A few months ago, I started adding whipping cream to her 3.25% milk (yes, she is still drinking the high fat milk at almost three years old). The addition of the cream to her milk did not increase her weight. I have since come to the conclusion she has a super high metabolism, and she will not starve herself. If she is hungry, she will let me know. She eats broccoli, and asparagus, and hummus. She won't eat much meat at home, but eats most of her food at daycare. Go figure!


I read recently toddlers consume more than 50% of their calories before lunch. Dinner is often a time of socializing, not eating. So, don't stress if your child decides to just pick at his dinner plate. Make sure you have wholesome choices for your child to eat. If they refuse to eat the dinner you have make, don't become a "short order cook". This is how kids end up eating chicken nuggets and fries all the time. Just because a child won't eat the wholesome food one time doesn't mean they will never eat it.


My biggest annoyance of late is how Wonder Bread assumes children will not eat brown bread. My daughter eats all kinds of bread. We rarely have white bread in the house. She will eat the multi-grain bread, the seedy bread, the rye bread. We often have preconceived ideas of what our children will like.

OTHER RECOMMENDATIONS:

Provide small, frequent meals at regular times. Space meals and snacks at least 2 hours apart. Your child should have 3 meals and 2 to 3 snacks throughout the day. Note, this doesn't mean they will eat at each of these meals or snacks, but give them the opportunity to do so.

Keep the length of meal times consistent. Offer the food again at the next planned meal or snack. Meals shouldn't be much longer that 30 to 45 minutes, 15 to 20 minutes for snacks.

Don't force your child to eat. Parents are responsible for providing nutritious foods. Your child will control the amount he or she wants to eat.

Avoid distractions at meal times. Turn off the TV, and eat at a dinner table. Eat as a family. Model good behaviour by eating and socializing with your children at meal times.

Don't cater to your child. Pair familiar favourites with new foods. Remember, it can take 10 to 20 times of offering a food before your child will "like" the food.

Kids change their likes and dislikes often. A food that was a favourite for the past week, might not be liked today. They could decide to eat only white food for a period of time. But, this too shall pass. Children will eventually tire of their favourite food, and move onto something else.

A favourite food isn't a bad thing. Just make sure it belongs to one of the food groups, and is nutritious and wholesome.

Want to share any of your feeding and eating woes? Feel free. Be sure to include any advice you might find useful.

Time Saving "activities"

So, you are feeling like you can't get anything do in your home with the kids running around. Here are some ideas to double up on your domestic "duties", and maybe even get a little exercise as well.

Sweep the house while the kids are eating. This might not work if you have to feed your little one, but once they are at the self feeding stage, and strapped into their highchairs, it the best time to tidy up the floor. You don't have to worry about little feet running into your dust pile before you get a chance to vacuum or sweep it up. Then, when they are finished, you tidy up around their chairs.

Do squats as you take out the laundry from the washer and transfer it to the dryer, or remove it from the dryer. Okay, I stole this from Dr. Oz, but the first time I decided to fold my clothes at the dryer, and did squats for each article of clothing, I really felt it in my legs. I was sore for days. Granted, I hadn't really done much exercise since my son had been born. After doing this a few more times, it got much easier. You might want to save this for the evening when the kids are sleeping.

The reverse of this (anti-exercise, but a time saver) is to fold the laundry while you are watching your favourite TV shows. I am sure we all have a time during the day when we unwind and watch TV, so use this time to fold the laundry. It is a fairly mindless task, and you usually won't miss the important parts of your show.

Take a bath or shower with your kids. If your children are younger you might want to take a bath with them. I have often had all three of us in the tub at the same time. Remember, don't leave your little ones alone in the bathtub. My daughter has decided (at 2 and a half) that she likes to have showers now, so often we will have a shower together.

Get a jogging stroller or Chariot or bike trailer and take your kids for a bike ride or a run. You can also bike to the grocery store with them, or walk with them in the stroller, or use a sled in the winter. You get some exercise, you might get some errands done, the kids get out of the house, and if they are like my kids, they probably won't want to get out of the carrier.

Clean the bathroom while your kids are taking their bath. Other than the bathtub, everything else is fair game to be cleaned. You are close to your kids, but you don't have to sit and watch them play with their rubber duckies for the whole time they are playing in the tub.

Garden outside, and have the kids plant their own things or play outside. In the spring, summer and fall, this is the best thing. Your kids are out of the house, enjoying themselves outside. You are getting yard work done, and enjoying being outside as well. Seriously, can you ask for anything better on a nice, sunny, spring afternoon? Yes, I was gardening today (it was 17C and sunny), while the baby was napping :).

If you have any time saving ideas of your own, please send a comment.

The Parent Jinx

Have you ever noticed as soon as you start talking about your child's habits, they change. I have to stop talking about my kids. This is my conclusion. The minute I say, "Child X hasn't blank in days.", blank will occur. Fill in what you please. Woken up all night, thrown up, been sick, had an ear/eye infection, gotten out of bed at night...

I don't know if our kids understand us when we talk about them, or if we are just not allowed to talk about them (some form of karmic justice). Acknowledging the jinx phenomenon does not unjinx you. Once you've opened your mouth to express your joy over being able to sleep through the night, you regret it. You want to chase those words down and get them back because you know tonight you will be up five times to nurse a crying baby.

Of course, we never learn. We want to tell our friends and family all about our children's achievements and milestones. We know talking about them will inevitably cause us grief, but we still do it. Ah, the ever changing habits of our children are part of the "fun" of being a parent, aren't it? Or, maybe we just like to tempt fate.

Whatever the reason, we will all end up talking about what our kids are currently doing, and our kids will all decide to prove us wrong, for a day or so. Then, things will go back to "normal", or at least livable.

Hopefully, you get your 8 hours of sleep tonight, and your kids stay in their own rooms until morning, and don't wake up too early. Yikes, I am really asking for it!

Tax Credits and Deductions for families

The tax deadline is looming close (April 30). You only have nine days to get your taxes completed and submitted to the government. If you are like me, you might be doing your taxes on your own, with the help of a tax program like QuickTax. I use the EasyStep method of doing my taxes, which is like a mini interview with an accountant (I would assume, since I have never actually had an interview with an accountant).

Unfortunately, sometimes you can still miss things. Somehow, last year, I forgot to put my daughter down as a dependant. I included her in my 2007 tax return, but not for 2008. I am pretty sure I had put her in, but somehow the questions confused me and I removed her. Maybe I thought I could only claim the child tax credit if my husband and I were separated or divorced. Anyway, I only realized I had claimed I was childless for 2008 while doing my taxes for 2009. Fortunately, you can have your return adjusted for two previous years, so hopefully we will be able to recoup the money we didn't get back last year.

Here is a list of some credits and deductions you might be able to claim.


TAX CREDITS
(this amount is subtracted from your tax owing, and is usually a percentage)

Child tax credit (line 367): You can claim $2,089 for each child under the age of 18 who lives with you. This tax credit started in 2007.

Eligible dependant amount (line 305): This gives single parents who are supporting children a tax break equivalent to that enjoyed by taxpayers who support a spouse.

Child fitness tax credit (line 365): You can claim to a maximum of $500 per child under 16, the fees paid in 2009 that relate to the cost of registering your or your spouse's or common-law partner's child in a prescribed program of physical activity.

Medical expenses (line 330): You can claim medical expenses paid in any 12-month period ending in 2009 and not claimed for 2008. Your total expenses have to be more than either 3% of your net income (line 236) or $2,011, whichever is less.

Transit pass tax credit (line 364): You can claim the cost of monthly public transit passes or passes of longer duration such as an annual pass for travel within Canada on public transit during the year.

GST/HST credit: To receive this credit, including any related provincial credit, you have to apply for it, even if you received it last year. Your credit is based on the number of children you have and your net income added to the net income of your spouse or common-law partner.

Home renovation tax credit (line 368): This is only good for expenses incurred after January 27, 2009 and before February 1, 2010. You don't include your receipts, but you need to have them in case CRA asks to see them. There is a 15% tax credit for any home improvement expenditure above $1,000 and up to $10,000.

Tuition (T2202A): Students of any age can reduce their income taxes by claiming eligible education expenses. Parents can claim their children's expenses. Credits can also be carried forward to the next tax year.

TAX DEDUCTIONS:
(this amount is subtracted from your gross income)

Child care (line 214): You or your spouse or common-law partner may have paid for someone to look after your child so one of you could earn income, go to school, or conduct research in 2009. The deduction limit is $7,000 for children under 7 and $4,000 for children aged 7 to 16. If your child is eligible for the disability tax credit the limit is $10,000.

TAX BENEFITS:
(this amount is paid to you depending on your income)

Child disability benefit: This applies to families who care for a child under 18 with a severe and prolonged impairment in mental or physical functions.

Canada child tax benefit: This is a tax-free monthly payment for children under 18 and is calculated based on the number of children in your family, the province or territory of residence and the family's net income.

Universal child care benefit: Since 2006, this is a monthly $100 payment for each child under the age of 6, regardless of the family's income. This amount is taxable on the return of the lower income spouse.

Keep in mind, this is not a definitive list. Make sure you check your taxes thoroughly before submitting. You can adjust your past returns through your epass account. I am not an accountant, so don't use me as an excuse if you file incorrectly :).