The tantrums of a three year old girl (and boy)

I wrote the following entry a couple of years ago.  I have since realized my son is completely capable of having the same type, and intensity of tantrums as my daughter did when she was three.  It must be the age.  I am not sure what people are talking about in reference to the Terrible Twos.  Both of my children grew into their finest tantrums after they turned three years old.

My daughter can still have fairly intense tantrums, but they are less frequent.  My son, however, has taken over the role she only recently vacated.  I just read through my draft about her from two years ago, and I could have written it the other day about my son.  This too shall pass.  Eventually, my son will out grow this willfulness, and we will move on to dealing with different issues with regards to parenting our children.


Sometime in 2010.
Is there anything worst than hearing a three year old girl having a screaming tantrum? I think not. Those of you who are parents of three year old boys may tell me they are just as capable of screeching at a pitch that affects you physically, but my son isn't at that stage yet. He just learned how to pull off his socks.

My daughter doesn't just cry when she is upset, she emits a high pitch scream as well. Think smoke detector alarm. Really. My dad said it is like a whistle. It is very hard to achieve a state of zen when your daughter is going off in the back seat of the van. She is often able to sustain this frenzied state for 10 minutes or more. You would think she would get tired of it, but she just keeps going.

At home, we will leave her in her room, and hope she will eventually calm down enough to listen to us. Even if she has stopped screaming, she will start up again if the wrong person (Dad) goes to check up on her.

When we are out in public, it is a different story. I try not to take her out in public when she is extremely upset, but sometimes it is unavoidable. We were in the grocery store parking lot the other day, and she refused to walk. She wanted me to carry her. A father gave me that knowing look, and actually said something about them all being the same. It helped me deal with the public spectacle a little better.

However, I don't know what else to do with her. She is extremely stubborn. I suppose she gets this from her father. There are times when I think, maybe this isn't the battle I should be fighting. If I give in, she will stop crying, she will stop screaming. Is the 20 minutes of hysterics worth her putting her toy back in her room on her own, when often, I will do it without asking her?

Timeouts rarely work with her. I have to almost sit on her to stay in her timeout spot. Putting her in her room can often result in toys and puzzles strewn about. One time, she ripped off the decals we used to decorate her room. A friend said she takes things away if they are thrown. Often the objects thrown aren't things she plays with, so this isn't much of a threat.

Last weekend, it came down to me being the last bargaining chip. My daughter wanted me to put her toy away, and she wanted to be with me. I told her I would not spend time with her if she was screaming and crying. I went to my room and closed the door. Even this didn't really work. She still spent 20 minutes outside my door, screaming and crying and yelling that she wanted mommy.

October 19, 2012
I actually used the self imposed timeout on myself today, with my son.  He too spent a significant amount of time outside my room, trying to get in.  He eventually calmed down because he wanted me to open the door. 

Currently, most of our tantrums stem from lack of sleep or hunger.  Unfortunately, he has been fighting his naps lately.  It makes me wonder if my daughter gave up her naps too soon.  My son still needs at least an hour nap in the afternoon, or he will be in a rotten mood in the evening.  My daughter gave up her naps when she was around 2 and a half.  I wonder if we could have staved off so many tantrums with her if she had only had a little nap in the afternoon.