Baking with the Kids, Again: Valentine Cookies

Okay, Mother Nature is having hot flashes. Last week, we were suffering with -36C plus (minus) windchill. Very cold. Too cold for cars and buses to start. This week, buses were cancelled yesterday because of freezing rain and today because of...freezing rain, bad road conditions, a sudden temperature drop. Take your pick. Although, the roads were worse on Monday when we had constant snow, and the ploughs didn't pass until late at night. The buses could not get up the hill to my husband's school.

Today, parents were called to pick up their kids from school, if they had driven them, at 11am. The arena was closing at 1pm. The city is shutting down because we are supposed to get cold weather after a lot of rain, and everything is going to freeze. By Friday, we are expecting a high in the minus mid teens. If there is any doubt, the erratic weather is indication of global warming. We are on "snow" day number five.

I brought my daughter to school today and yesterday, but playgroup was cancelled yesterday. I needed something to keep us occupied. My son had found my cookie cutters in the kitchen drawer, and thought they were for play-dough. This gave me the idea to make Valentine cookies. It's almost February.

I found a recipe on Martha Stewart's website. I modified it slightly by adding nutmeg and vanilla extract. Otherwise, it was pretty good. I halved the quantities, and still made lots. The dough is quite sticky, and, even after refrigeration, i had to use quite a lot of flour to prevent sticking. The dough also spreads a lot when it bakes. Most of the shapes lost distinction after they were baked.

http://www.marthastewart.com/354106/valentine-cookies

Sugar cookies are not a favourite of my husband. My kids are less picky, but everyone would prefer them with icing. I do not like the hard royal icing. It hurts my teeth. The ready made colourful tubes of cookie icing at the strore were tempting, but I opted to buy icing sugar instead. I made my own icing with icing sugar, milk, a little white corn syrup, vanilla, and gel colour.

My kids helped me decorated the heart shaped cookies. I made a few jam sandwich cookies too. Those were eaten for dessert, but the rest of the cookies are going to school one of these days when the buses are not cancelled. Next week is February. Perect timing!

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No Wonder People get Frustrated Learning a New Language.

English is my first language. I learned to speak French when I was 8 years old. My father decided to do a post doc in France for a year, and he brought the family. My brother and I attended a French school and at the end of the school year we were completely bilingual. I even had a cute France accent, and used the same language quirks as the local children, such as inserting "puis" every third word. Think of it as the equivalent to "like" in English.

I learned the language because I had no choice. The other students spoke as much English as I spoke French, initially. Counting to ten, thank you and please. We had to adapt. We had to figure out what was being said, and we had to figure out how to express ourselves in French to be understood.

I learned grammar and vocabulary in class, but looking back at my notebooks, I was not given a lot of work that was different from the other students. Initially, I was taught some basic verbs and nouns, to get by, but there are a lot of different verb tenses, and regular French students have to study them as much as people learning French as a second language.

I lost a lot of my French over the years. We did not have French immersion at my high school. Occasional summer visits back to France over the years helped to maintain the language, a little, but I started to pick up an anglo accent. I would start to speak in anglicisms, and make mistakes I did not used to make. Languages need to be spoken or they are forgotten. I know this, as I used to speak Spanish ten years ago, and I have lost it almost completely. My brother, who was six while we were in France, does not speak a word of French now.

My French improved immensely since I have had children. I made the choice to speak to my children in French. My husband and I speak English to each other, but we both speak French to the kids. My son speaks very little English. My daughter speaks a bit more. She learned it mostly from daycare and school (even though she is at a French School). She also had to figure out how to communicate with her cousins in Winnipeg, and my friends' children.

I read to my children every night, and I learn (or relearn) new words every time I pick up a book. There was one verb that got me thinking. The verb was "amener". I had never used this verb. I assumed it was similar to "emmener", which I used in the context of to bring something or someone somewhere. Little did I know the can of worms I would be opening trying to figure out these verbs.

"Amener" essentially means to bring, but you use it with living things, people. The other verb, "emmener", means to take someone (again living things) somewhere. Now, in English there probably is not much distinction between "take" and "bring", but some grammar hounds out there will know when we are supposed to use one, and not the other. I suppose the same could be said about French. I am sure no one would think I do not understand the language if I mix up "amener" and "emmener".

Here's the added layer to the grammar story. If you want to use the verbs to describe bringing and taking inanimate objects, you are supposed to use to verbs, "apporter" and "emporter" respectively. In English, we tend to use the same verbs for multiple purposes. I think this is why anglophones get frustrated with new languages. Our verb tenses do not change much, nor do our verbs.

In Spanish, there are different verbs for ask, ask a question, and ask for something. We anglos look at this as the same verb, but you have to conjugate the verbs differently in Spanish, and realize which one to use. Learning a language is not a matter of merely translating. You have to have a feel for the language, and the culture. I think people get frustrated because they want a quick answer, a quick solution to the problem, and that is not always the case.

I know I make grammatical errors in English all the time, and I need to not beat myself up when I make them in my second or third language too. It is all a learning process.

http://www.bertrandboutin.ca/Folder_151_Grammaire/N_a_amener.htm

PS two other verbs always getting mixed up: peindre which is used to paint a picture, and peinturer which is used to paint a wall.

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Love Letters to my Children

My daughter's teacher would like for us to write a letter to my daughter about why we love her. I am pretty sure I had to do something similar to this last year for the month of February. Love is typically the theme for the second month of the year. I have been trying to figure out what I will write to her in this letter.

How do you explain to your five year old why you love her when you cannot explain it yourself? I would say it is instinctual. I have to love her because she is a part of me. I carried her in my womb for nine months. However, parents love adopted children just as much as I love my biological children. I would do anything for her and my son, and it is not just because we share DNA.

I remember listening to a program and the man was describing how, if he wanted to have a happier life, he would not have had children. He followed this by saying he would sacrifice anything for the safety and happiness of his children. Children make our lives feel purposeful. They can be frustrating. They make things much more complicated, but we would never give them up to have the life we had before. We would lay down our lives to keep our kids safe.

My kids love me unconditionally, for now. Despite the fact I will lose my patience with them, yell at them, take away toys and treats, they will fight each other over who gets mommy to put them to bed. Sometimes, they fight over who gets daddy, but not as often. They spend more time with me, so I spend more time disciplining them. I suppose I also spend more time playing or doing activities with them, but my husband and I are good about sharing parenting duties.

It never ceases to amaze me that they will still want to hang out with me after I have lost my temper. I apologize immediately after. Usually, it comes about after I have asked my kids five to ten times to stop doing something or start doing something. I have given them the line, "mommy still loves you, even when she is angry." They also give me the reciprocal line, "we still love you, even when you are angry."

Why do I love my children? I don't know, but I do. It brings tears to my eyes when I hear my daughter teach my son the words to "Vive le Vent", then he sings back his truncated version of the song, and she congratulates him, as though he won a singing contest. Watching them use their imagination as they play with their toys makes me wish they could stay little forever. I love when they come to bed with us in the mornings, not too early, and snuggle. I love when they want a hug and kiss out of the blue.

This evening my daughter wanted me to put her to bed. I asked, "Why do you want me?" She replied, "Because, I love you." "Why do you love me?", I asked. "Because you dance, and sometimes you take me to gymnastics." How can you not love someone who gives you such simple answers?

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Stranded by a Blast of Arctic Air

We've been going through a bit of a cold spell up here in Canada. I guess the jet stream has dipped south, and some of the very cold air from the Arctic is giving us a run for our money. Yesterday was the first time I have heard of school being cancelled because of cold, in Sudbury. In Chapleau, buses stopped running around -40C a few times. We never had school cancelled in Manitoba because of cold. Wednesday, schools were open, but the buses were not running. My daughter would have gone to school, if I could have driven her, but we were stranded at home.

My husband parked under the carport Tuesday night. It was in front of the garage, and in front of the van. His 2010 Honda Civic does not have a block heater, nor did we think to look for one the night before. When he tried to start the car in the morning, it wheezed, clicked, and died. He had to call around to get a ride to work. Around this time, I finally heard the announcement that all buses were cancelled. I had just spent 15 minutes convincing my daughter to get up, eat, and get ready for school. I was going to take her skating after her brother's playgroup at her school. It was a great incentive. All that wasted effort!

I should have listened to the radio earlier. In fact, my husband had kept hitting snooze, he just wanted to stay in bed. I didn't much feel like getting out of bed either. Our bodies knew this was not weather to be out in. We should have listened to what they were saying. Of course, as soon as I told my daughter there is no school, she got upset about that. Really, this is how I get her to want to go to school? By telling her there is no school? I think not.

All my plans for the day went out the window (and froze instantly). It was -36C Wednesday morning. I was not about to walk my daughter to school, and we could not move my husband's car. We could not go skating either. Staying inside is sometimes the only way to cope with the extreme cold. I would have loved to have thrown the kids outside to play, burn off some energy, but that was not in the cards.

I have no idea what was up with my kids, but they were at each others throats most of the day. My daughter wanted my son's toys, my son wanted her toys, and neither wanted to share with the other. If they were good for a brief moment, the phone would ring and they would start hitting and biting each other. It does not matter if they are in separate rooms, if the phone rings, they seek each other out to cause the largest disruption possible. They did manage to play fairly well on the minitfo website while a friend was boosting our car. Yes, we finally got it going. Good thing because CAA was busy.

In the end, I did some baking, the kids played with the LiteBrite (still lots of control issues), and finally, the only thing that appeased them was the TV. I am sad to say, but no one had the patience for crafts or constructive play yesterday. My solution to cabin fever was plunking them down in front of the boob tube, and only then were they not fighting with each other.

I made some nice Vanilla Cloverleaf Sweetbuns. It uses the same Master Sweet Dough recipe from Bon Appétit I use for the soft pretzels. My kids were able to help measure the ingredients, punch down the dough, and roll the little balls. This dough is not too sticky, and the kids can work with it easily.

Goes great in my daughter's lunch, and she will eat it!

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I Am Not a Short Order Cook

I am a good cook. I am not arrogant. This is just a fact. I pride myself on my cooking ability. It came from my mother. I make wholesome, well balanced meals for my family. These meals are yummy, tasty, colourful, and my children refuse to eat them. I am beginning to feel there is not anything I can feed them for dinner.

I should have expected this from my daughter. She has never been a good eater. She was borderline "failure to thrive" for most of her first year. Even when she was breast feeding we had issues. We had such bad issues I ended up in a fight with one of her doctors, and we were sent to another one. She was seeing a dietician until well past her second birthday. Those of you who struggle to keep your child's weight up in the early months know the frustration of a low weight baby. Of course, parents of bigger children also have to face a lot of scrutiny.

Feeding our children (I mean everyone's, not just my children) is a battle. My son was a much better eater, and still is, for the most part. My daughter's repertoire of foods she will eat has diminished, and the list was short to begin with. My son still eats avocado, and yoghurt. He will eat nuts, and a greater variety of cheeses. He likes warm oatmeal for breakfast, sometimes. My daughter would probably be happy eating French toast until the end of her days.

I am lucky both of my children usually eat the vegetables I make for them. We know which ones they will eat. Cooked broccoli, asparagus (but my daughter does not like the tips), red peppers, spinach leaves (raw), lettuce, green beans, snap peas, sometimes carrots. They are pretty good about fruit. Again, my daughter is pickier. No blueberries, mango, melon, papaya. My son will eat any fruit.

The thing is, I was hoping to get away from making a separate meal for my children. I want them to eat what we eat. Sometimes, it is not too difficult to modify the meal to suit them. My daughter, and sometimes my son, is not a huge fan of sauces. If I am making a stir-fry, they will get the "deconstructed" version. My children are eating with the new food trends, and they don't even realize it!

I will give them a handful of the raw veggies, and cook the meat before I add the sauce. Usually they are okay with this meal. If I cook salmon, my kids will eat the fish, if it is not "dirty". This means without the goat's cheese, pesto or tomatoes. Again, success. The biggest issue tends to be one dish pastas or soups/stews. For some reason my daughter refuses to try these meals. She doesn't even take the smallest bite possible, fake liking it, then refuse to eat the rest of the meal. We tell her she can't say she does not like it if she does not taste it. She is stubborn enough to sit through dinner, begging for dessert, without tasting her meal.

I think my ultimate frustration came last week when I cooked homemade mac 'n cheese. I have been spending the past week finishing off the leftovers because both of my children refused to eat it. First reason, was the breadcrumbs on top. Next, the cheese was melted inside the sauce. Finally, the noodles were not straight. Curse you Kraft Dinner!

My daughter said she would eat spaghetti. Last night, I made a chicken parmesan and we had spaghetti, and veggies on the side. I know she does not like sauce in her spaghetti, so it was plain. The moment I put the spaghetti in front of her, she says, "I don't want spaghetti." Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I will not be a short order cook. The dietician, and all the parent resource workers say not to make special meals for the kids, but what do you do when they refuse to eat everything you out in front of them?

Often, the promise of dessert is incentive enough for my kids to eat their meals. However, if they are stubborn enough, they will forgo dessert to be able to leave the table. My kids usually eat well for breakfast, and this is probably because they are starving in the morning, having left their dinners on the plate. Of course, almost every morning my daughter wants French toast, and we end up having a fight over what she will eat in the morning. This does not work well with the limited time we have for her to get ready for the bus.

Every meal is a struggle. I am waiting for the day my kids don't turn their noses up at dinner food, eat with smiles on their faces, and thank me for a delicious supper. Can I have more, please? Is that day coming?

PS. Don't recommend those kids cookbooks that hide wholesome foods in meals kids are supposed to like. My kids don't usually eat the junky foods, like chips and chicken nuggets, and hate tomato pasta sauce. Plus, I don't have to hide veggies. My children are actually less inclined to eat food with hidden purees. Go figure.

This recipe was an epic failure with my children, but I enjoyed it. Maybe you will have better success with your children.

http://recipes.todaysparent.com/Recipes/View/Classic-mac-and-cheese

 

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Finding a New Career

I have been thinking about what I can do if I were not a teacher. I have training in science, biology, forestry. I could probably do any number of things, if there were jobs available. Right now, here in Sudbury, there are not a lot of options for a new career.

Retraining is not in the cards for me. Sometimes, I think about becoming a doctor, but that is a lot of time and money for a job I am not particularly passionate about. My best friend spent 18 years in school after high school. She is a medical officer of health in Winnipeg. She started med school in her late twenties, and said she was right at the border of the age where you could tolerate the BS you have to face to survive med school. She does not think she would be able to do it in her forties.

She said to me the other day, she is always nervous driving by accidents because she has forgotten all of her trauma training. She memorized everything she needed to know to pass and move onto the next task. She has been working on TB, and now public health education for so long she does not feel confident she would be able to help anyone in a medical emergency.

I like the field she decided to study for medicine. She has an environmental and personal health focus to her portfolio. I would like to be involved in nutrition and environmental health, but the number of years of training after actual med school would add up. Some things are just too late to start. I would be in my fifties before I got to a job I wanted.

I have thought about being a dietician, nutrituonist, or a massage therapist. Again, these fields require additional training on my part which means time and money. We do have Science North here. I have applied on occasion when they have been looking for the educational liaison person. I think they are leery about hiring teachers because the salary at Science North is significantly less than what a teacher could potentially make. They have already lost employees in the position to permanent teaching jobs. My husband says I should tell them I probably won't leave.

The thing is, I really like the fact that we get time off with our children as teachers. It is difficult to find a job that gives you so much time to spend with your family. We work hard during the school year, and often teachers are working or training or prepping during the summer. I just like being able to spend the time my children have off with them. It also allows me to visit with my parents often. I value our time together as a family more than any additional income.

I have been thinking of putting my name into the French public school board. If I am not getting work in the English public system, it cannot hurt to try another board. My husband works for the French Catholic board, and he thinks I would be able to supply in his schools (other than the fact that I am not Catholic). I sometimes feel my French is not up to snuff, but it is pretty good. I find it amazing how much it has improved since I have had children. Of course, only speaking to my kids in French, and reading French books to them has helped me a lot.

I should look on the job bank, and try to find something. Sometimes, jobs will surprise you. Jobs you might have thought were fun, and inspiring can end up being soul sucking, whereas things you might not have otherwise considered turn out to be a source of immense satisfaction.

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(Not) Exercising During the Winter

I am finding it very difficult to stay active during the winter months. For the past few years, once the snow clears, the weather warms a little and the days are longer, I start running at least 5km three times a week. In the summer, I often run every day or six days a week. Last summer, I ended up dropping below 148lbs, a weight I had kept for over ten years.

I try to keep up the running as far into the season as possible, waking up early on weekends for my morning jogs. Once the days get shorter and the weather turns colder, however, I kind of hibernate for the winter. I find it difficult to even do exercise videos or simple routines indoors. I prefer to do my exercise outside, but I am not a super huge fan of the cold. Having Raynaud Syndrome does not help.

I have been dealing with this issue for as long as I can remember. My fingers, and sometimes toes, will turn white when I get cold. Being outside during the winter, my fingers are turning white on a daily basis. I often have to taken my mittens off to find and use my keys. The minute my hands get cold, the fingers turn white. I can get the same effect from taking food out of the freezer too.

It is amazing how quickly I lose circulation in my digits, but it will take a long time for the blood flow to come back. I am often seen with my hands around my neck or around a mug of tea. In the van, I take off my gloves and stick my fingers by the heat vent. Growing up in Manitoba did not help me. After being out in the cold, I would have to run my hands under warm water to get sensation and blood back into my fingers. So, this is one deterrent for exercising outside, but not really an excuse.

My father also suffers from Raynauds. He used to go running in -20C weather, and cross country skiing when we lived in Manitoba. He still runs every weekday, living in Oakville. The weather is significantly warmer in Oakville, but still colder during the winter. I probably would not be running all winter, even if I lived down south. There is something about the darker days that shuts me down for a couple of months.

The days are getting longer, and I am longing for warmer days. It is -26C out there today, and though I could find warmer clothes, put on a toque, neck warmer, gloves, and everything else, I do not want to run in the cold. When we lived in Chapleau, I used to cross country ski on the river in the winter. Maybe when my kids get older, we can start doing that together. I suppose I could check out the trails in Capreol, but it so far. See, finding more excuses not to exercise in the winter.

How do you stay motivated? I am feeling more jelly belly of late, and this should be motivation enough. I guess I will just try to do some muscle building exercises, focus on my dance classes, and look forward to an early spring. I am taking my son skating on Wednesdays, but he is very slow, and not so stable on his own.

Hey, a lot of animals take it easy during the winter, and expend all their energy in the warmer months. Maybe I am a bear. Storing some winter fat, giving me better insulation to deal with the cold. I cannot wait for the March Break. Start running again once there is more sun in the mornings.

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What Could Have Been

I was listening to the radio yesterday, and a researcher came on talking about the validity of breast cancer treatments. As he was speaking, I wondered what would have happened if I had chosen to continue my studies in science, and completed a Masters or even obtained a Ph. D. Both my mother and father found vocations you could say had been their calling. My mother was a nurse, and my father is an über scientist. I got three Bachelor degrees (Science, Forestry, and Education), and I am currently a stay at home mom. My next thought was, if I had stayed to do a Masters at UBC, I would not have the family I have right now. I probably would still be living in Vancouver, very far away from my family.

It is difficult to regret choices you made in your life because they all led to where you are right now. Some of what is happening right now might not be the greatest, but there are people around you, and experiences you've had that you could not imagine not being there. Our choices and circumstances have led us to this place. If you are not happy with where you are, change your future, but do not regret your past.

One incident in particular holds a lot of bitterness for me. I was days from having a permanent teaching position when I was passed up for someone they claimed had more experience. I was blindsided because the only reason I did not get the job was because I was too expensive to hire. The board hired a brand new teacher, who was at least $10,000 more "affordable". She was not more experienced. Maybe if the position had not been a government initiative, with a set amount of funding, it would have been different.

I was pissed off and ended up taking a job working as an interpreter for the Lake Laurentian Conservation Area. It was a significant pay decrease, but it was a job, and I was still teaching, despite not being in a school setting. The position was only for three months. It was over by November. Being off work enabled me to stay with my parents in Oakville for a couple of weeks in early December.

My husband and I had been having trouble conceiving. We had met with the specialist in the summer, but the timing did not work well because we got married in August, and had a family reunion in July, both occurring around the weeks I needed to be monitored for fertility treatments. If I had had a permanent teaching position, it would have been unlikely I would have taken the time off late fall to pursue treatments, even with my growing frustration at not getting pregnant naturally.

There were two things I wanted more than anything the fall of 2006. I wanted to start my teaching career again, and I wanted to start a family. I was obsessing about being 35 and childless. For some reason the age 35 was worse to me than 36, but not only that. I wanted to be a mother. I wanted to have a family more than be a teacher.

Our first and only treatment was successful. I conceived my daughter (thank goodness only my daughter because I had 18 ovules ready to go) through IUI shortly before my 34th birthday. Then, I was lucky enough to land two long term teaching positions from January to June, with enough of a break between the two contracts to visit friends in Winnipeg. I was able to claim a full year's worth of EI as maternity leave with my daughter. I conceived my son a couple of month's into the following school year.

So, no point regretting what happened to me because it allowed me to have my two children, and have the family I wanted so badly. But, what do I do now? My father is starting his second book. My mother had a fulfilling career as an occupational health nurse. I never quite found the thing I could be passionate about. I wanted to be a photographer, a singer, a marine biologist, an ecologist. If I had any talent, it would be have been fantastic to be a "kindie" musician or a writer. I still think I could write French children's songs, but I am not a musician. I am trying to write this blog, but who am I kidding? Everyone has a blog.

I fell into teaching. I was kind of doing it during university, through summer jobs. I enjoyed teaching when I had my own class. I do not particularly enjoy it right now. Daily subbing is stressful. Taking over some else's class for a few weeks or months is stressful. Cleaning up after less than stellar teachers is stressful. Dealing with the entitled generation is stressful.

I had even resigned myself to being a permanent substitute teacher, but the last couple of years have been quite dry. It has not been so bad because I have been able to stay home with my children. My son starts school in September, full time, and I have no idea what I am going to do. I think about trying something else, but I am 40. I really do not feel like starting over from scratch.

I search the job bank. I try to figure out if there is something I am truly good at, that would be fulfilling, and pay me. I write my blog, and wonder if I will be able to start writing a book about my mom when both kids are in school. I so desperately want to honour my mother who is quickly disappearing. For now, I need to figure out what can be, instead of what could have been.

By the way, don't get too excited about my father's books. Unless you are in his specific field, it will be of no interest to you. But, he did dedicate the book to all of us, kids and grandkids.

http://www.springer.com/materials/mechanics/book/978-1-4471-4194-5

 

 

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Gender Bending

Yesterday was an interesting day to explore gender identity with my children. We picked up some free skates from the Sudbury Skate Exchange. Neither of my kids had their own skates. Last year, my daughter borrowed a pair from the school, and we didn't bother getting any for my son since he was only two years old.

On Friday, my daughter came home with a pair of skates from her school. They are generic, grey, plastic skates, and they have an adjustable inner boot. They can fit feet sized 8 to 11. The school sent them home for us to get sharpened. My daughter was happy to have the skates, but when we mentioned we might get her some of her own, she became very excited. My son too. He really wants to try skating.

Unfortunately, the skate exchange did not have small hockey skates. Well, they had one skate that fit my son, but the other skate was MIA. We found a pair for my daughter very quickly, but my son grew impatient trying on skates. Then, he decided he wanted white skates, like his sister. She did not want hockey skates because she wanted "girl" skates (white figure skates). There was a pair of white figure skates that fit my son, and he was happy with them. We took them. My husband was not happy. My argument was that my son was three. Plus, boys figure skate. My husband said that was "mom reasoning".

My husband told me the story of how his mom bought him a blue angel bike, and he was happy with it until the other kids pointed out it was a girls' bike. Again, my son is three. There are kids his age who sometimes say, that's for girls or for boys, but usually we don't have issues. Sometimes his sister might say something, but I tell her he can play with or wear what he wants. He only has an older sister for a sibling. He plays with her toys, and dresses up in her costumes. He is particularly fond of the Tinkerbell one.

Our next stop, after the skate exchange, was Old Navy. Both of my children were busy trying on women's shoes while I searched for tops. My husband found us, and shook his head when he saw his son in sparkly gold ballet flats. Mommy does not have a selection of shoes for them to try at home, so they have to take advantage of the opportunity when it arises in a clothing store.

At Toy R Us, my daughter automatically gravitated toward the Barbie, princess, and Dora toys. My son kept picking out trains, dinosaurs, and superhero figurines. They both played with the Dino Train toys, and liked the Lego stuff, but when it comes to toys, they usually pick the gender stereotypic toys. When asked to pick one toy (a gift from their uncle), my son ended up with a T. rex, and my daughter agreed to Flynn Rider, after mom nixed yet another Barbie doll. She seemed fixated on mermaids yesterday.

My children play well together. Their imaginative play is not overtly boy or girl skewed. They often like pretending they are magic, or royalty. My son will be the knight, and fight the dragon. My daughter will be the princess. However, they also like to imitate the make believe stories they see on Stella and Sam, Dora, or Diego. They will travel back in time to play dinosaurs. They have a kitchen, and both make pretend cupcakes, and pizza. They love to make music.

When we got home, I tried the skates my daughter had from school on my son. Since they are adjustable, they fit him. He still seemed to like the white ones better. I will see if we can keep the school's skates for the winter. They were given to my daughter for the season. Now, we have to sharpen all of the blades and clean the rust off of them. They were not well taken care of. Wipe you blades after skating, people!

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Is it too much to ask for some politeness?

It is our responsibility as parents to model appropriate social interactions to our children. We should be teaching them to use the words "please" and "thank you", and to be courteous to others, not just people older than them. As a teacher, I have encountered many students who show no respect to anyone, let alone the teachers in their school.

We call this generation the "entitled" generation. Students often give the reply that I have not "earned" their respect, so why should they give it unconditionally. However, there is probably nothing I can do or say to gain the respect of these individuals. I often wonder what they will be like when they enter the real world. Likely, very angry, rude people.

We have entered into an era of parenting where we like to include our children in decision making. We want to empower them, and make them feel as though they are taking control of their lives. Very often, this spills over into how teachers are expected to manage their classroom. We will come up with classroom expectations through consensus. So, the children who are given free reign at home expect to have free reign at school.

The thing is, we are the parents and adults. We should know better than our children. If I asked my kids what they would like to eat for supper, and let them decide every day, we would have something my daughter could put syrup on, candies, or ice cream. If she had the choice of staying home or going to school, she would rather stay at home. She would love to watch television all day, or play Barbies.

I feed her fruits and vegetables and she has to eat them if she wants dessert. We teach our children how to live well and how to interact well with others. We show our children how to share. We show them that giving can be as rewarding as receiving. We have to show them exercise is good for you and sports can be rewarding. But, they need to learn these skills. It is our responsibility to teach them.

Maggie Mamen said we need to parent as benevolent dictators. We are supposed to know better than our children. I realize this might not be the case in some situations, but generally, as adults we have more experience. We have better judgement. We know what is better for our children than they do. We know why we cannot go to Disney World for the weekend, and it is not because we want to squash all the joy out of childhood.

If, over the years, your children develop a maturity and are capable of helping out around the house, without prompting, they may have demonstrated they are capable of making good decisions on their own. However, we still need to be careful about how much freedom we give our teens. Teens are not adults, and they are still creating new neural connections, and dealing with hormonal changes. We want our teens to learn independence, but we don't want to give them so much freedom they end up in perilous or compromising situations.

The problem teachers have to deal with is meeting each students' needs in a classroom of 30 students. We are being asked to create personalized lessons for students, yet teach them in large groups. Often, students are questioning why they need to learn the particular course material. Until we can have a teacher for each student, we will have complaints about our education system. There is never going to be a way to please all students in your classroom. And, this shoud not be the goal.

We need to engage our students, but not all lessons will be engaging to all students. We need to teach our students some patience. Unfortuately, our current technological devices are conditioning students to have short attention spans. They are "easily" bored. If many students had their way, they would be home playing video games with their buddies. There are very few jobs that will allow you to live your life playing video games.

There is a bigger problem with how our society is set up that is creating the entitled attitude in our children. My parents worked hard to have more than their parents. My parents were able to provide me and my brother with everything we needed to have a happy childhood. We got things, but not whenever we asked for something. If I needed new clothes my parents would get it for me, but I did not expect my parents to give me everything and anything I asked for. Good behaviour was rewarded. Politeness and courteousness was noted.

Start with the basics. Expect your child to say "please" and "thank you". Teach your children to greet their elders when they say hi. Expect your children to eat a family meal at the dinner table. Expect your children to clean up their messes. Teach your children to treat others as they would like to be treated. Teach them if they cannot say something to someone's face, it should not be said. Do not make excuses for them if they do something rude or hurtful. They need to be prepared to suffer the consequences. Teach them that if there are rules, they need to follow them.

Actions and words have consequences. We need our kids to realize this. We need to teach them.

http://www.pamperedchildsyndrome.ca/

 

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Feast or Famine

It is either all or nothing with me. I find a series of books or television shows that I like, and it's all I do for a few weeks. Same goes with cooking and baking. I love cooking and baking, but sometimes, I just let it slide, and get lazy with meal preparation. Not today.

This week, my playgroups are limited, so what do you do with a restless three year old instead of plunking him in front of the TV? Take him grocery shopping to get the ingredients for a weeks' worth of meals. Actually, I only bought ingredients for three recipes, but odds are my children are not going to eat any of what I have prepared, so we are looking at lots of leftovers.

Today's Parent has been having a "weeks' worth of meals" feature for a while now. Sometimes they have a shopping list to go along with the recipes. I decided to prepare a couple of meals ahead of time, and get ingredients for a third meal. I know, this might not sound like a novel idea for you super organized people. A friend of mine plans her family meals every weekend, and shops accordingly. How clever. Then there are those who get the flyers, shop, and prepare meals based on the sales. How economical.

This is not me. I am a spur of the moment kind of person when it comes to meals. Either that, or I get in my head I want to make a particular meal, and that is what we are having, regardless of whether I have the ingredients in the house. We have a grocery store five minutes down the road, so I never worry about having stuff at home. I could probably cut my grocery bills down if I were more organized.

I made a gluten free "lasagna", but not really because I could not find corn tortillas, and had to use whole wheat ones instead. It was supposed to have swiss chard, but I used kale. Actually, I finally discovered a fast way to get the kale leaves from the stem by running my hand down the stalk. This could make kale chips a lot easier to make. I love kale chips. I didn't say I had a well stocked grocery store down the road, but we have a store none the less. This is going to be Thursday's meal, before swimming lessons.

Next, I made a lentil "meatloaf". This is going to be today's meal. The kids have gymnastics at 5pm, so we are eating before, and they have a bath after. Not sure if anyone in the family is going to eat the meatloaf, but it looks tasty. I will probably have to lie to my husband and say it is real meatloaf. Not sure what to serve it with. Potatoes?

Meal update: my son tried it, but didn't like the shredded carrots, and left the rest on his plate. My daughter finally came to the table, looked at her plate, said, "Je n'aime pas ça!", and ended up finishing the rest of her lunch. My husband was about to take a bite, then looked at me, and asked, "This does not actually have any meat, does it? You are so cruel." He did eat it with ketchup, though. I enjoyed it.

The third meal, for tomorrow, is a pork stir fry with peppers, snap peas, and an orange ginger sauce. This is a soy free recipe. My kids like peppers, and usually eat pork tenderloin, so it might get eaten.

Right now, I am baking chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. I saw the recipe on the oats this morning, and since we have no cookies in the house, I decided to make them. I have been so busy cooking and baking, I did not have a chance to eat much for lunch. I am starving right now, but we are going to have supper soon. I will have to wait.

I fed my son when we got home from shopping, and started prepping the meals. He played in his room for a while, and I thought I lucked out because things quieted down. But, two minutes later he claimed he had finished sleeping. I know he needs a nap, so I tried to convince him to stay put until the timer goes. He had a little fit, and after I calmed him down, he did eventually fall asleep, and didn't wake with the timer. Sneaky mom.

So, I am now somewhat organized for the rest of the week. Do not expect me to come up with anything for supper on Friday. We are probably having leftovers...and chocolate chip oatmeal cookies for dessert. Oh, they would make a great ice cream sandwich base. Yum!

 

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Trying to Catch Up on a Year's Worth of Culture

When I was younger, I sort of kept up with the movie and music scene. I would buy new music from artists I like. I would go to the movies on a fairly regular basis. I would even read new books. But, as the years went by, I stopped buying music. We rarely go to the movies. Even with Netflix, I have a difficult time keeping up with the latest releases (or as is the case of Canadian Netflix, catch up with movies released a few years ago).

The thing is, there are always artists out there creating new art. Music, books, movies, video games, television shows. We only have so much time to enjoy these things. Add to this, real life. We want to (should) get out and experience the real world as well. Travel, exercise, spend time with friends and family. Some of the cultural activities can be enjoyed with other people, like going to the movies, but if you want to read a book, it requires a bit of hermitting.

I used to listen to the radio a lot. Usually CBC was my way of finding out about new musicians. The problem is the only time I get to listen to the radio is in the car. I find listening to the radio requires some attention, and if I am reading, or watching TV, I am not hearing the radio. If I am playing with my children, I am usually not engaged in what is on the radio either. I have discussed why I love to listen to podcasts while exercising already.

As this is the beginning of the year, many people have been compiling "best of the year" lists. Jian Ghomeshi has a list on the Q blog of the top 20 albums for 2012. Once again, I find myself not recognizing many of the artists. I have heard of half of the musicians, and probably have only heard songs from a quarter of the albums on the list. It saddens me a little, as I used to keep up with new music. I am not talking top 40 hits here, as you may have surmised.

In Sudbury, the only radio stations not playing Top 40 are the CBC frequencies. At year end, you can hear American Top 40, and Rick D's so many times you will be singing the songs before they air. What I am sad about is not keeping up with the amazing musicians who do not always make it to the Top 40, and rarely get air time around here.

When we are down in Toronto, I tend to listen to 102.1 The Edge because they play music not heard up here. They will play Metric, Of Men and Monster, and Mumford and Sons. The rock station in Sudbury still plays Bon Jovi from the 80s. If you were missing out on hearing You Give Love a Bad Name, listen to Q92 and you'll be sure to hear it at least once a day. The radio music scene is dismal in smaller towns, and I love CBC for changing this.

My father listens to The Signal, on CBC Radio 2, with Laurie Brown. You might remember her from Much Music, again back in the 80s. I might have to start listening to her. What I heard while visiting my parents was great. For now, my goal is to listen to at least one song from each of the albums Jian reccomended. I think I might be able to find video, or audio on the Q website.

http://www.cbc.ca/q/blog/qs-top-20-albums-of-2012/


 

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Apple is Not Very Green, at Least Not Environmentally

I like my iPad. I used to love it, but now Apple is on the fourth generation, and my two year old iPad seems antiquated. My husband bought me an original iPad for my birthday two years ago. We had no idea Apple was releasing the iPad 2 in March until the following day when his best friend, an Apple fan, told us he was waiting for its release. I was not sure about the logistics of returning my iPad since I had already opened and started using it. Besides, at the time, the original iPad was good enough for my needs.

Yes, iPad 2 had a camera, and you could Facetime with friends and family, but we did not know anyone else with an iPad with whom we would Facetime. iPad 2 has the snazzy magnetic cover that puts it to sleep, but I can handle pushing the button to do that. My iPad is larger, but having never handled the slimmer version, it does not make a difference to me. Like I said, my original iPad was great for what I do. It still is, but...

I recently realized I am using obsolete technology in the eyes of Apple. They no longer make the original iPad. They are also no longer making software updates for the original iPad. The last update has caused issues for some users, making the device slower and not as enjoyable to use. Apparently, this is a ploy to get those of us who do not upgrade every new release to finally upgrade. The crazy thing is, my device is barely two years old! I cannot afford to buy a new iPad every year, or, in some cases, every six months. Those of you who bought the third generation are probably steaming mad.

Now, I do not need more apps for my device. I probably can still use everything on my iPad without the software updates, but I find it ridiculous, after two years, Apple is essentially trying to force me to upgrade. I have the 16G iPad, and I often have to delete things from my device to update, or try out new apps. We spent a lot of money to get the "low end" version of the iPad. I do not have the kind of money to keep buying new ones every year. Plus, it is wasteful.

What do I do with my old iPad? I know there are companies specializing in recycling electronics, but I would like to be able to use something for more than two years before throwing it out. Why would someone else want an older iPad if no one is making apps or updates for it anymore?

I have not updated my cell phone in six years. No, I do not have a smart phone. I have a pay as you go phone. I do not need access to the internet at all times. My phone receives and sends texts and phone calls. What else do I need my phone to do? I have an iPad for all the rest. The only way I would upgrade my phone would be when I find a new phone with a decent camera, otherwise, I see no point.

We love our technology, and it has definitely changed how we interact with each other. I just wish we would not be forced to get new technology so often. Companies are trying to make a profit, but they also need to be environmentally responsible. Sabotaging devices so users will upgrade is a despicable practice. Apple used to be the underdog, but they are certainly no longer.

I know many other companies are guilty of the same thing. Appliances used to last forever, but now when you buy new things, they give a lifespan of ten years or less. We buy more energy efficient appliances, but if you have to replace them more often, you are creating more waste, and expending more energy in the creation of the new appliances.

For now, my original iPad is functioning well, and I can use it to do the things I want. I am able to blog, check my email, read books, and watch TV or movies. Maybe, in a few years, I will buy a new tablet, but I am not guaranteeing it will be a new iPad. If there are other tablets out there with better functionality, and longevity, I might switch. The only appeal in staying with Apple is keeping my purchased apps, but 80% of my apps were free. For now, these constant upgrades of devices is less appealing, not more.

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"Kids Movie" too Adult?

On New Year's Day, our family went to the movies. The choice of children's films were Rise of the Guardians, Monsters Inc., and Wreck It Ralph. We decided to go to Wreck It Ralph. I had not seen any commercials for Guardians, and had no idea what it was about. We have Monsters Inc. at home. Granted, it is not in 3D, but we wanted to see a first run movie. This was the first time out at the movies since Toy Story 3.

This means my son is now as old as my daughter was when we saw Toy Story 3. This was his first movie experience where he sat and watched the movie. I spent much of Toy Story 3 feeding him Cheerios, and eventually nursing him, to keep him non disruptive. He has seen many movies in the last two years, but not in the cinema. He seemed to enjoy Wreck It Ralph.

My daughter, on the other hand, was either scared or sad throughout the movie, or possibly both. Wreck It Ralph is about video games. For those of us who grew up in the 80s, it is quite a nostalgic film. There are a lot of inside jokes. One reviewer for the Globe and Mail said if you know who QBert is, you will be in the right demographic to appreciate this movie. Plenty of fun for the parents who have decided to take their children out to the movies.

There is a video game represented in the movie which is essentially a Halo knock off. I do not let my husband, an avid gamer, play his violent, first person shooter games in front of our children. My kids also tend to watch fairly benign television shows. Their favourite is Stella and Sam (Stella et Sacha, en français). I let them watch mini TFO. We have kids movies for them to watch, but they usually gravitate to Dora, Caillou, and a french cartoon called Sam Sam. Most of what they watch has no violence in it. Sometimes, they might watch some of Dad's He-Man, or Thundercats, or Amazing Spiderman, and see some occasional cartoon fighting. The swarming Cybugs in Hero's Duty were a bit much for my daughter.

I think my son didn't mind it because there was a lot of "Fi-uing". You know, the sound a gun makes, probably in Star Wars, FI-U! FI-U! Plus, I have an inkling he's seen Daddy play some shooting video games. My daughter is very sensitive. She was overwhelmed emotionally during Kung Fu Panda 2 when the mother had to abandon Po. I think she was also sad during Wreck It Ralph when she realized Vanellope might have to stay behind in the game. She was sobbing in my lap, and I had to tell her it would work out. But, she said the insects scared her too. She was not a huge fan of the film.

Many of the films nowadays labelled as kids movies have a lot of violence, and sex humour geared towards an older audience. I know parents do not want to go see The Care Bear movie, or Barbie Charm School, but what happened to the good old family film? The Muppets made some great movies, and often had humour parents could appreciate without it necessarily being vulgar. I still love watching The Wizard of Oz, and Mary Poppins.

As has happened with cartoons on TV, many of the animated films are designed for an older audience. Rango was not really a kids movie, despite being animated. Cars 2 had a plot as complicated as any Mission Impossible movie. My daughter came out of that one with the statement, sometimes the number one car won the race, sometimes Lightning McQueen did. The mystery held no interest for her.

So, what are some recent, wonderful family movies everyone would be entertained watching? Where are the movies like The Princess Bride, and E.T.? It seems as though these types of movies are being made less often. There was a time, 10 or 15 years ago, and earlier, when it was not difficult to find quality family entertainment. I am not a prude, but I want to keep my kids young as long as possible. I do not want them jaded before their time.

My parents took us to see movies like Amadeus and Out of Africa when we were younger. They were mature films, but they dealt with subjects in a way that was not frightening, or overwhelming for younger viewers. Now, movies are all flash, and bang. Lots of violence. Pretty to look at, but lacking substance. It is a sad statement if I think today's kids movies are too "old" for my children, and I would have no problem showing them a movie like Amadeus.

 

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