It is our responsibility as parents to model appropriate social interactions to our children. We should be teaching them to use the words "please" and "thank you", and to be courteous to others, not just people older than them. As a teacher, I have encountered many students who show no respect to anyone, let alone the teachers in their school.
We call this generation the "entitled" generation. Students often give the reply that I have not "earned" their respect, so why should they give it unconditionally. However, there is probably nothing I can do or say to gain the respect of these individuals. I often wonder what they will be like when they enter the real world. Likely, very angry, rude people.
We have entered into an era of parenting where we like to include our children in decision making. We want to empower them, and make them feel as though they are taking control of their lives. Very often, this spills over into how teachers are expected to manage their classroom. We will come up with classroom expectations through consensus. So, the children who are given free reign at home expect to have free reign at school.
The thing is, we are the parents and adults. We should know better than our children. If I asked my kids what they would like to eat for supper, and let them decide every day, we would have something my daughter could put syrup on, candies, or ice cream. If she had the choice of staying home or going to school, she would rather stay at home. She would love to watch television all day, or play Barbies.
I feed her fruits and vegetables and she has to eat them if she wants dessert. We teach our children how to live well and how to interact well with others. We show our children how to share. We show them that giving can be as rewarding as receiving. We have to show them exercise is good for you and sports can be rewarding. But, they need to learn these skills. It is our responsibility to teach them.
Maggie Mamen said we need to parent as benevolent dictators. We are supposed to know better than our children. I realize this might not be the case in some situations, but generally, as adults we have more experience. We have better judgement. We know what is better for our children than they do. We know why we cannot go to Disney World for the weekend, and it is not because we want to squash all the joy out of childhood.
If, over the years, your children develop a maturity and are capable of helping out around the house, without prompting, they may have demonstrated they are capable of making good decisions on their own. However, we still need to be careful about how much freedom we give our teens. Teens are not adults, and they are still creating new neural connections, and dealing with hormonal changes. We want our teens to learn independence, but we don't want to give them so much freedom they end up in perilous or compromising situations.
The problem teachers have to deal with is meeting each students' needs in a classroom of 30 students. We are being asked to create personalized lessons for students, yet teach them in large groups. Often, students are questioning why they need to learn the particular course material. Until we can have a teacher for each student, we will have complaints about our education system. There is never going to be a way to please all students in your classroom. And, this shoud not be the goal.
We need to engage our students, but not all lessons will be engaging to all students. We need to teach our students some patience. Unfortuately, our current technological devices are conditioning students to have short attention spans. They are "easily" bored. If many students had their way, they would be home playing video games with their buddies. There are very few jobs that will allow you to live your life playing video games.
There is a bigger problem with how our society is set up that is creating the entitled attitude in our children. My parents worked hard to have more than their parents. My parents were able to provide me and my brother with everything we needed to have a happy childhood. We got things, but not whenever we asked for something. If I needed new clothes my parents would get it for me, but I did not expect my parents to give me everything and anything I asked for. Good behaviour was rewarded. Politeness and courteousness was noted.
Start with the basics. Expect your child to say "please" and "thank you". Teach your children to greet their elders when they say hi. Expect your children to eat a family meal at the dinner table. Expect your children to clean up their messes. Teach your children to treat others as they would like to be treated. Teach them if they cannot say something to someone's face, it should not be said. Do not make excuses for them if they do something rude or hurtful. They need to be prepared to suffer the consequences. Teach them that if there are rules, they need to follow them.
Actions and words have consequences. We need our kids to realize this. We need to teach them.
http://www.pamperedchildsyndrome.ca/
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