English is my first language. I learned to speak French when I was 8 years old. My father decided to do a post doc in France for a year, and he brought the family. My brother and I attended a French school and at the end of the school year we were completely bilingual. I even had a cute France accent, and used the same language quirks as the local children, such as inserting "puis" every third word. Think of it as the equivalent to "like" in English.
I learned the language because I had no choice. The other students spoke as much English as I spoke French, initially. Counting to ten, thank you and please. We had to adapt. We had to figure out what was being said, and we had to figure out how to express ourselves in French to be understood.
I learned grammar and vocabulary in class, but looking back at my notebooks, I was not given a lot of work that was different from the other students. Initially, I was taught some basic verbs and nouns, to get by, but there are a lot of different verb tenses, and regular French students have to study them as much as people learning French as a second language.
I lost a lot of my French over the years. We did not have French immersion at my high school. Occasional summer visits back to France over the years helped to maintain the language, a little, but I started to pick up an anglo accent. I would start to speak in anglicisms, and make mistakes I did not used to make. Languages need to be spoken or they are forgotten. I know this, as I used to speak Spanish ten years ago, and I have lost it almost completely. My brother, who was six while we were in France, does not speak a word of French now.
My French improved immensely since I have had children. I made the choice to speak to my children in French. My husband and I speak English to each other, but we both speak French to the kids. My son speaks very little English. My daughter speaks a bit more. She learned it mostly from daycare and school (even though she is at a French School). She also had to figure out how to communicate with her cousins in Winnipeg, and my friends' children.
I read to my children every night, and I learn (or relearn) new words every time I pick up a book. There was one verb that got me thinking. The verb was "amener". I had never used this verb. I assumed it was similar to "emmener", which I used in the context of to bring something or someone somewhere. Little did I know the can of worms I would be opening trying to figure out these verbs.
"Amener" essentially means to bring, but you use it with living things, people. The other verb, "emmener", means to take someone (again living things) somewhere. Now, in English there probably is not much distinction between "take" and "bring", but some grammar hounds out there will know when we are supposed to use one, and not the other. I suppose the same could be said about French. I am sure no one would think I do not understand the language if I mix up "amener" and "emmener".
Here's the added layer to the grammar story. If you want to use the verbs to describe bringing and taking inanimate objects, you are supposed to use to verbs, "apporter" and "emporter" respectively. In English, we tend to use the same verbs for multiple purposes. I think this is why anglophones get frustrated with new languages. Our verb tenses do not change much, nor do our verbs.
In Spanish, there are different verbs for ask, ask a question, and ask for something. We anglos look at this as the same verb, but you have to conjugate the verbs differently in Spanish, and realize which one to use. Learning a language is not a matter of merely translating. You have to have a feel for the language, and the culture. I think people get frustrated because they want a quick answer, a quick solution to the problem, and that is not always the case.
I know I make grammatical errors in English all the time, and I need to not beat myself up when I make them in my second or third language too. It is all a learning process.
http://www.bertrandboutin.ca/Folder_151_Grammaire/N_a_amener.htm
PS two other verbs always getting mixed up: peindre which is used to paint a picture, and peinturer which is used to paint a wall.
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