This is what happened this morning. It is by no means an unusual morning. In fact, this is quite typical for a weekday morning. We wake my daughter up a little after 6:40 am. I open her curtains to let in daylight. Surprisingly, I do not have to argue with her to get out of bed this morning. She must have slept well, or fallen asleep earlier because she did not try to stay asleep. I still have to carry her to the kitchen table.
Once at the table, she wants french toast for breakfast. Sometimes, we might have the time to do this. Sometimes, there is leftover french toast in the fridge. Today was not one of those days. I offer her a waffle instead. She actually agrees! The waffle is frozen, so it takes a few minutes to thaw. She says she does not want it too hot, which cuts down on our prep time. My son wakes up, and says he wants a frozen waffle. Great! I do not even have to pop his in the toaster.
My daughter scrutinizes the pieces of waffle and decides there are things in there she does not like. She proceeds to remove bits of cut up apple from the waffle. This prolongs the act of eating her breakfast. My son has to go pee, and therefore has to remove his plate from the table so the cat won't eat his food. We try to explain the cat won't jump on the table if others are still eating. His goes back and forth from the bathroom to the kitchen several times before he finally pees, and comes back to finish breakfast.
My daughter says she is still hungry after her waffle, but refuses offers of fruit or yoghurt. She does not have enough time to eat anything else. I tell her to get ready for school, and we will see if she can have something after she is ready. We have pictures of the steps she needs to follow, but I still have to remind her to pee, wash her hands and get dressed. By the time she has chosen her clothes, we are running out of time.
My son decides he needs to poop at the same time she is on the toilet. There is a bit of a scuffle in the bathroom, but the dispute is quickly settled. Once he is done, however, he will not wipe his own bum. We are out of flushable wipes. He wants me to wipe his bum, but first I have to put toilet paper in the flushable wipes container. I tell him I do not have the time because I have to get his sister ready for school. He does not let me wipe him, so I leave him on the toilet. He gets off the toilet with his pants around his ankles. He is still carrying the wipes container when he comes into my daughter's room. He ends up siting on my daughter's floor with his poopy bum.
I look at the clock and realize I have to brush my daughter's hair pronto. She starts crying because there is no time for her to have more breakfast. My son is crying because I have put him in a Time Out in his room after wiping his bum, and the floor. He says he wants out to brush his teeth. Then he says he wants to finish his breakfast. I let him out as I am telling my daughter to get ready to leave because the bus is literally waiting down the road.
My son wanders around the kitchen, but then decides he wants to come outside with us. I have no time to dress him. I am helping my daughter get dressed, and I can see the bus driver inching down the road, getting ready to leave without us. I put my daughter's bag on her back, I pick up my son (without his boots or jacket because he refuses to wait inside the house alone), and I scoot everyone out the door. I run to the end of the driveway with my son in my arms. I kiss my daughter good bye and put her on the bus. I head back to the house. By the way, it is pouring rain. My son is getting wet, but at least he is with me.
This is every morning, or some variation on the theme. All through this, I am trying to remain calm. I am trying to not yell at my children when they do not respond after five requests to do or not do something. Usually, it is the poop on the floor, or feeding breakfast to the cat, or refusing to get dressed that will tip me over the edge.
I have tried putting them to bed earlier. We already start the bedtime routine before 7pm. I have tried waking them up earlier. I have tried ignoring the whining. Most mornings are very stressful, hectic, and downright chaotic. We are often just getting out the door as the bus is driving past our home. It would be nice to have a later bus time, but I have to deal with similar issues when I drive the kids to school at a later time. More time is not the solution. My children are stubborn and if they do not want to something it becomes a battle of wills. It is even worse on mornings I am working.
I have a reward system, but I obviously have not found what motivates them because it can often take two to three weeks for them to earn their reward. I also take away privileges, but I find this too is not effective. The idea is to get an immediate response. If I have taken something away from them and the bad behaviour continues I am no further along. We are still running late and I am still frustrated.
I am trying to work on being calm and zen. I have attended parenting courses. I have sought advice from parent resource workers. Every day is a struggle. I love my children. I love being a parent, but sometimes it can be stressful, and disheartening. I hear myself getting angry with my children, and I fear they are going to hate me.
I suppose this is parenting. There are people out there with children who are not as willful as mine. Lucky them! I am hoping this stubbornness with pay off later in life, or in other aspects of their social interactions. Either that, or my children will become societal pariahs. This stage shall pass, and we will move on to yet another annoying stage. Such this is life. Yay! It's the weekend!
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